General life question

[DavidMcmillan]

I have been blessed with a great family. My wife and I are both very grateful for each other, and our daughters have always been also. Son-in-law and two adult grandsons likewise. We all live fairly close to each other, and have no problems helping with the various projects, errands, etc that normal life brings. All of us respect each other and appreciate the contributions ech make.

 

[turkeyrun]

Sir,
I feel the pain you're going through, and I pray your path in life is guided by good hands.
Have you considered letting go of the relationship? Or double-down to fix it?

You can be a perfect husband/dad up to the day you die, and they may (internally) love you. But this act will hurt them for the rest of their lives, and destroy any 'loving memories' of their dad. There is no recovery from this.

I have no recommendations. I hope the best for you.

These actions/changes did not just happen. Not just a lack of validation, but out right disrespect and entitlement.
A rebellious teenager is one thing, but one that is has kids and wants to behave as an entitled teen is completely different. Then, to spread to lies, when their believed entitlement does come to fruit. There may not recovery and after there is nothing but memories, they can deal with it. Consequences of their actions.

 

[Tinytim]

No disrespect to anyone.

But I don’t care. It’s my job.

Best answer

 

[Tinytim]

I didn't mean to make light of men's work because it is hard, also. Hell, I think that's why it's called "work". I just can't figure out how people can't see that each side makes significant contributions to a household running smoothly.

But I can also understand how men of a certain age (mostly suburban, city-dweller types in my experience) long for the "Leave it to Beaver" house where the man worked 8 hours, came home, patted the kids on the head and got waited on hand and foot until his wife took him to bed and serviced him before giving him a back massage til he fell asleep. Just so he could do it all over again tomorrow and sit by the pool on the weekends. I'm pretty sure I'd be loathe to give that up also.

I watch as my wife works her azz off, comes home , from work and works her butt off in the house, the yard.
Gets up at 0400 and works all day, day in day out.
I appreciate all that my wife \ partner does, she can work circles around anyone I know.

 

[dennishoddy]

Or how about Family Affair? “French!!! Get me a drink!” - why does a 53 year old bachelor alcoholic have a live in butler?

 

[Tinytim]

You gotta wait for Festivus

For the restofus

 

[GorillaG]

I didn't mean to make light of men's work because it is hard, also. Hell, I think that's why it's called "work". I just can't figure out how people can't see that each side makes significant contributions to a household running smoothly.

But I can also understand how men of a certain age (mostly suburban, city-dweller types in my experience) long for the "Leave it to Beaver" house where the man worked 8 hours, came home, patted the kids on the head and got waited on hand and foot until his wife took him to bed and serviced him before giving him a back massage til he fell asleep. Just so he could do it all over again tomorrow and sit by the pool on the weekends. I'm pretty sure I'd be loathe to give that up also.

My life is almost exactly like the "Leave it to Beaver" life you describe except I don't even hafta work I'm retired, kids are long gone, wife is younger, works full time and takes care of EVERYTHING. I pretty much don't do anything but pursue my hobbies. Before anyone gets to feeling to sorry for the poor dear, trust me I treat her like GOLD. I pretty much give her, her way about anything and everything and because we share the same values, we rarely disagree. Anything she wants or wants to do she only needs ask. However she's not materialistic at all and her needs and wants are very modest. She's not a saint but she's not far from it in my eyes. She says her happiness in life comes from taking good care of me and I'd say she is almost perfect at it. If you're wondering where I found such a wife it was about 9000 miles from here in a country where traditional values are still held in very high regard. I know there's still a lot of good women in this country but they're about as hard to find I'm guessing as good men are. I kissed a HELLUVA lot of frogettes before I found a true princess, but I never gave up hope or more importantly faith.

 

[dan45]

These actions/changes did not just happen. Not just a lack of validation, but out right disrespect and entitlement.
A rebellious teenager is one thing, but one that is has kids and wants to behave as an entitled teen is completely different. Then, to spread to lies, when their believed entitlement does come to fruit. There may not recovery and after there is nothing but memories, they can deal with it. Consequences of their actions.

THIS !!!
When you sweat and sacrifice, do all that you know to do, even going so far as to allow them to use your grandkids to get their way....
There comes a point where you have to let it go or lose all self respect along with your health and sanity.
They have to learn there are consequences for their actions even if that realization doesn't come until me and their mother are dead and gone.

 

[SoonerP226]

I haven’t seen an episode in perhaps 40 years, - but what exactly did Ward Cleaver do?


Seems like there was lots of lounging, ceremoniously taking off suit coats, smoking pipes and reading the paper with legs crossed like a girl. —- the Beav was perpetually between 8-10 years old and Wally was 15’ish?
Doing the math, Ward should’ve been between the age of 35 - 45, not gallivanting around like a 64 y/o fartknocker

I caught an episode or two while I was sick earlier this year, and in one of them Ward said something that got me curious about the character's age, so I looked it up. As I recall, the character's age is the same (roughly) as Hugh Beaumont's, and he would've been 48 when the main run of the series began. Ward worked in an office, but I don't think they ever specified what he did.

FWIW, the leg crossing probably had more to do with standards and practices than anything intrinsic to the character. Broadcast TV was a lot more tightly controlled back then.

 

[Dorkus]

These actions/changes did not just happen. Not just a lack of validation, but out right disrespect and entitlement.
A rebellious teenager is one thing, but one that is has kids and wants to behave as an entitled teen is completely different. Then, to spread to lies, when their believed entitlement does come to fruit. There may not recovery and after there is nothing but memories, they can deal with it. Consequences of their actions.

Just a thought, why don’t you just cancel or cash in the life insurance policies? You might as well enjoy the $$ yourself instead of leaving it for others.