This is a long story and complicated so I will try to give the summarized version.
My wife and I have been leading a small group from church every Sunday evening for the last 3 years in our home. About a year and a half ago we had a new member join. He got really involved in the church and was at every small group meeting; really nice guy. Well about 7 months ago he started having very erratic behavior and really odd discussions and comments during small group. It would take a long time to list everything, but to summarize he said he was very depressed, he felt that his students (he was a teacher) were always talking about him and even knew what he had been doing and when what he ate for dinner. We prayed for him that night and each Sunday after for about 6 weeks. Each Sunday he would have another story or rant and it became more and more bizarre. We just continued to pray for him and offer to help in anyway we all could. In the beginning of May he told everyone in the group he wanted to quit his teaching position. Not just quit at the end of the year but the next day. I told him that being a teacher myself that he needed to really consider finishing out the year and his contract. I told him if he quit before the end of the year and was not mutually let out of his contract to teach that he may not be able to get another job until after a year. Technically the district be worked for could submit the information to the state and they could suspend his teaching license. Anyways by the next Sunday he had already quit the school. He was told pretty much what I told him by the principal at the school when he called them. He also had no prospects of another job in education or anywhere else to work. He is a single man and is divorced with a 16 year old son. This is where the issues come in. We found out that his ex wife (he didn't want the divorce at all) had another man and was going to be marrying him soon. His behavior just went down hill so fast. He became very emotional, talked only about getting his wife and son back and being a family again. We continued to pray for him and help with resources where all of us could. One night at the end of May he comes to my door about 8 pm and asked to spend the night. He told me that he was being evicted and just needed a place for the night until he signed the lease for a new apartment the next day. That's where I was very skeptical because he had no job at all. I felt uneasy about it all, but agreed to let him stay one night only. I stayed awake the entire night in my recliner and watched him. He came out a few times to be surprised at me still awake. I just told him I couldn't sleep (which was true obviously). He left early in the morning. I had called my pastor to arrange meeting with the guy and myself and see if we could figure out how to help him. The day we were going to meet pastor at the church I showed up and the receptionist asked me where the guy is. I told her I don't know I haven't heard from him all day. She said he came by at 8 am and demanded to speak to pastor right then. She said he couldn't because pastor was in a staff meeting. He got irate and said pastor better see him now or they would regret it. He finally did leave and never came back. That's where it went from odd to crazy... He ended up getting arrested twice in the same week. The first time for going 110 in a 65 mph zone in the WRONG LANE OF TRAFFIC.!!! He bonded out on that before anyone even knew it happened. Later he was arrested for driving to his ex wife's house and trying to kidnap his son. He told his son that they were going to pick up his mom and he was going to save them all! That's pretty much telling you his intentions in that situation. His son escaped and called police. He has been in jail in Norman for about 3 months. He was just released yesterday. We installed video cameras around our house a couple months ago because of this.
My question is this when do you guys think the threat has passed enough to let our teenage daughter stay home while we are running errands or before we get home from work? I won't let her right now and pretty much haven't all summer and even when he was in jail I would not let her stay by herself. My wife says we can't keep her with us forever and we will have to believe the threat is over at some point. I told her I agree, but I just don't know what that looks like. I'm frustrated, anxious and worried about my baby girl. I just kind of wanted to get other people's thoughts on it.
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My wife and I have been leading a small group from church every Sunday evening for the last 3 years in our home. About a year and a half ago we had a new member join. He got really involved in the church and was at every small group meeting; really nice guy. Well about 7 months ago he started having very erratic behavior and really odd discussions and comments during small group. It would take a long time to list everything, but to summarize he said he was very depressed, he felt that his students (he was a teacher) were always talking about him and even knew what he had been doing and when what he ate for dinner. We prayed for him that night and each Sunday after for about 6 weeks. Each Sunday he would have another story or rant and it became more and more bizarre. We just continued to pray for him and offer to help in anyway we all could. In the beginning of May he told everyone in the group he wanted to quit his teaching position. Not just quit at the end of the year but the next day. I told him that being a teacher myself that he needed to really consider finishing out the year and his contract. I told him if he quit before the end of the year and was not mutually let out of his contract to teach that he may not be able to get another job until after a year. Technically the district be worked for could submit the information to the state and they could suspend his teaching license. Anyways by the next Sunday he had already quit the school. He was told pretty much what I told him by the principal at the school when he called them. He also had no prospects of another job in education or anywhere else to work. He is a single man and is divorced with a 16 year old son. This is where the issues come in. We found out that his ex wife (he didn't want the divorce at all) had another man and was going to be marrying him soon. His behavior just went down hill so fast. He became very emotional, talked only about getting his wife and son back and being a family again. We continued to pray for him and help with resources where all of us could. One night at the end of May he comes to my door about 8 pm and asked to spend the night. He told me that he was being evicted and just needed a place for the night until he signed the lease for a new apartment the next day. That's where I was very skeptical because he had no job at all. I felt uneasy about it all, but agreed to let him stay one night only. I stayed awake the entire night in my recliner and watched him. He came out a few times to be surprised at me still awake. I just told him I couldn't sleep (which was true obviously). He left early in the morning. I had called my pastor to arrange meeting with the guy and myself and see if we could figure out how to help him. The day we were going to meet pastor at the church I showed up and the receptionist asked me where the guy is. I told her I don't know I haven't heard from him all day. She said he came by at 8 am and demanded to speak to pastor right then. She said he couldn't because pastor was in a staff meeting. He got irate and said pastor better see him now or they would regret it. He finally did leave and never came back. That's where it went from odd to crazy... He ended up getting arrested twice in the same week. The first time for going 110 in a 65 mph zone in the WRONG LANE OF TRAFFIC.!!! He bonded out on that before anyone even knew it happened. Later he was arrested for driving to his ex wife's house and trying to kidnap his son. He told his son that they were going to pick up his mom and he was going to save them all! That's pretty much telling you his intentions in that situation. His son escaped and called police. He has been in jail in Norman for about 3 months. He was just released yesterday. We installed video cameras around our house a couple months ago because of this.
My question is this when do you guys think the threat has passed enough to let our teenage daughter stay home while we are running errands or before we get home from work? I won't let her right now and pretty much haven't all summer and even when he was in jail I would not let her stay by herself. My wife says we can't keep her with us forever and we will have to believe the threat is over at some point. I told her I agree, but I just don't know what that looks like. I'm frustrated, anxious and worried about my baby girl. I just kind of wanted to get other people's thoughts on it.
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