I think most non-believers, at least those who grew up in an environment where that is the norm, wanted to believe and simply couldn't.
My girlfriend remembers hating herself as a kid because god seemed to speak to all her relatives and not her. She thought she was bad or something was wrong with her. Nowadays said relatives are what I call "Sheetmetal Christians" (those are Christians who attend mega churches, which are often built in the manner of pole barns, warehouses, or livestock arenas) where they regularly speak in tongues.
Now, are these people actually being moved to speak in tongues by some intangible force known only to people who have been baptized, or are they nutjobs?
Most people don't sit around wanting to deny the existence of god out of bitterness or spite. In fact, most of them spend their childhood wondering why they don't "get it", so to speak. Most remember being 5,8,10, 12 years old and trying and trying to make themselves be something they just weren't. Any bitterness they may have could likely be explained by being made to feel as though something is wrong with them during their formative years.
Wise words. Spiritual abuse is common in mainstream churches. I have attended quite a few baptist or similar congregations over the years. One example would be a southern baptist church where the preacher claimed that if you failed to tithe 10% of your gross,not net, you were robbing God and were in danger of the fires of hell... Wrong...
As for the charismatics, my 1st wife invited the preacher from that church we had been attending. Why? To lay hands on me so that I might receive the gift. She did this without my knowledge and so I was ambushed after dinner. They lay hands on, prayed fervently and......... nothing...
So I felt like a big loser who must be on God's crap list. That is spiritual abuse and it drives many sincere seekers away,leaving them angry and wanting nothing to do with God, Jesus, and Joel Osteen.