A sad time in my life

[DRC458]

@dennishoddy - so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

 

[Glocktogo]

I can assure you that Hospice is the way to go after losing both of my parents to lung cancer with hospice care at the end.
We have been dealing with my FIL's dementia, parkinsons, and sundowners for a couple of years now. We tried to move them from Broken Arrow to our home town so we could offer more assistance, but MIL refused thinking friends would offer any assistance since they had a pretty close crowd they hung out with.
Guess what, after a couple of weeks, the "friends" bailed and it was left to us driving 250 miles round trip to handle everything including their finances almost every weekend. MIL still wouldn't move when FIL didn't recognise anybody and was in his own world thinking it would look bad with the "friends" that bailed.
MIL refused Hospice a year ago when she could have got assistance from them with beds, medical aids, etc, paying for them out of her pocket. The pocket is getting lower.
At the end of life Hospice knows that the time is near in normal deaths by monitoring the vitals and has volunteers that will sit with the ill during the night to notify the family when their time has passed.
My FIL passed this morning. A volunteer was sitting with him for two nights as he was critical with vitals decreasing but I took last night.
Wonderful organization with caring folks. The Pastor came by almost daily, the volunteer came back after Don's passing to offer condolences to the family and hung around for over an hour with the Pastor.
Clay, keep in mind that there are more that one Hospice organization. Some are free, some are pay to play.
Choose wisely. The volunteer organization appears to be the best route IMHO.
When my mom passed, she specified that she didn't want to waste any of her money on a huge funeral. Graveside and be done with it. We honored her wishes. The Hospice minister that was over the graveside came to me and told me that he would not accept any money and asked that we do not offer any. Part of the Hospice program.
Incredibly wonderful people and I can't say enough to bolster their reputation.

My condolences to you and your family on the passing of your FIL. It heartens me to hear there are still so many wonderful, caring people out there to lean on.

 

[CHenry]

I can assure you that Hospice is the way to go after losing both of my parents to lung cancer with hospice care at the end.
We have been dealing with my FIL's dementia, parkinsons, and sundowners for a couple of years now. We tried to move them from Broken Arrow to our home town so we could offer more assistance, but MIL refused thinking friends would offer any assistance since they had a pretty close crowd they hung out with.
Guess what, after a couple of weeks, the "friends" bailed and it was left to us driving 250 miles round trip to handle everything including their finances almost every weekend. MIL still wouldn't move when FIL didn't recognise anybody and was in his own world thinking it would look bad with the "friends" that bailed.
MIL refused Hospice a year ago when she could have got assistance from them with beds, medical aids, etc, paying for them out of her pocket. The pocket is getting lower.
At the end of life Hospice knows that the time is near in normal deaths by monitoring the vitals and has volunteers that will sit with the ill during the night to notify the family when their time has passed.
My FIL passed this morning. A volunteer was sitting with him for two nights as he was critical with vitals decreasing but I took last night.
Wonderful organization with caring folks. The Pastor came by almost daily, the volunteer came back after Don's passing to offer condolences to the family and hung around for over an hour with the Pastor.
Clay, keep in mind that there are more that one Hospice organization. Some are free, some are pay to play.
Choose wisely. The volunteer organization appears to be the best route IMHO.
When my mom passed, she specified that she didn't want to waste any of her money on a huge funeral. Graveside and be done with it. We honored her wishes. The Hospice minister that was over the graveside came to me and told me that he would not accept any money and asked that we do not offer any. Part of the Hospice program.
Incredibly wonderful people and I can't say enough to bolster their reputation.

I agree from all that I've researched and this further reinforces it, thank you and my condolences on your loss. It sounds like a bitter/sweet blessing and I hope your family finds peace soon.
My deal is more difficult, or maybe not at all but mom wont give up. She hasnt come to terms that hes dying yet. We sent him to the ER Monday because he was not eating or drinking since Saturday and hes week as a newborn baby from lack of exercise of any kind and lack of nutrients. Mom has see him go down a lot the last week, doing strange stuff and defecating on himself, in his bed, in his pants...Sunday morning he got up at 4:00 and went buck naked and sat in his recliner and mom found him there at 6:00 when she got up to use the bathroom. When she asked him what time he got up, he said 7:00...it wasnt even 7:00 yet and he was sitting buck nekid and had soiled his chair.
But still she wants him to get refereed to rehab and come home stronger hopefully. I dont see it happening because this is same song and dance as last year and he came home and went for walks for about 2 weeks then stopped exercising and went downhill all summer. And if hes had another stroke - thats still a question to the Dr.s - hes not going to get better.
He was showing signs of dementia before his fist stroke. So shes bound and determined to let him end up in a home if he cant get better to come back home and be independent. she isnt physically able to help him with all his needs. He fell in the shower not long ago and he just cant be left alone while mom goes to see her cancer Dr.s and others. I guess she will figure it out.