Dad-isms

[okie362]

My dad is a very wise man and knew that if he told my brother and me NOT to do something, we would do it anyway because we were much smarter than he. When he'd get wind of things we were about to do he'd simply say... "I really don't think that's a good idea and if you go to jail, don't call me. If you get hurt, call me and I'll come to the hospital."

 

[emapples]

There’s a lot a quit in that one .....lol

 

[Annie]

When he was treating one of us instead of sending us to "the real doctor" -- while your ass was sitting on a freezing cold stainless steel surgical table -- "just think how bad you'd feel if I wasn't "fill in the blank for whatever PITA treatment he was doing" ...

I still amaze doctors because when they have to take swabs of my throat I don't gag no matter how much they dig around. And I can stop vomiting on command. Lol My dad was BRUTAL if you fidgeted, flinched, puked on "his" floor, or complained.

Oh ... And "I hate to be the one to break it to you but you ain't ****. If you want something, bust your ass. If it doesn't work out, get up, pick the gravel outta your ass and try again. If you don't quit you haven't failed."

 

[mightymouse]

"That's the most fun I've had since the pigs ate little brother."

 

[MacFromOK]

^ Ha! Had forgot about that one, my Dad used it too.

- "I feel like the bottom of a bird cage."

 

[CorpsVet]

Can't never did a damn thing

Use your head for something other than a hat rack

If I knew you would be this way I would've rolled off and shot you out the window

Edited to add: There's more than one way to skin a cat

 

[emapples]

You don’t have the sense to pour piss out of a boot .......

 

[Timmy59]

They couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel..
Kids ought to be born 18 so the 1st time they give ya sh** you can kick'em out..
You run away, I'm breaking your dinner plate..
The one that served me best was, all women are created equal and the hottest ones are the neglected ones because most men are scared to talk to them..

 

[John6185]

Kids ought to be buried and dug up when they're 21.