dealing with hatred

[twoguns?]

Thing is this isn't about your Wife or your in/out-laws, and I believe You know that!
This is about You and how You react to outside influence's, You know what You want and what You need, what You believe to be right
Doing the right thing can be hard, but its still right
I would never tell someone they need divorce, I would, however, move and let them figure out what they want
I also don't believe your wrong here, but...do You want to be happy
It reminds me of something a sponsor told me: If we knew better, we would do better, until then, we can act better!
Do better or act better...or in more famous words....Get busy living, or get busy dying....now Git!!!

 

[OKfella]

The extended family all comes to see your MiL. Your MiL gets uncomfortable if the house is kept very cool. You enjoy it very cool.

Locking thermostat.

Drives her away, they follow her....your house is quiet, cool.

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

I'm trying not to judge, but your attitude is childish and immature. Who gives a fat flying fluck if you don't like your wife's family, this isn't about you. Man up and put your petty ego on the back burner and support your wife, you don't have to kiss anyone's a$$, but you don't have to be a prick either. Here's a thought, avoid topics that you disagree with her family about, they are trolling you in real life.

My suggestion is to visit with a therapist or a minister and get some help coping with YOUR issues.

 

[JD8]

I believe I want a divorce from the situation , I love my wife and believe things will be good again if I can stay sane that long. while I have aired some of my grievances here, what I was really looking for is ways to improve my own short comings .I know I can't fix them and I don't know how to fix me

To be honest, the more information you relay about this situation it seems you are not the only one that needs fixing. Your wife has a significant amount of responsibility in this IMO. If there were no other choice than to stay at your house, I get it on her part. However, since there are other logical options and your wife needs to pursue them and she's not considering yourself in the equation.

 

[RidgeHunter]

His attitude is a childish and immature reaction to an absurd and unacceptable situation.

His improper reaction does not legitimize what's going on at his house.

I would be nicer and less argumentative, ask for help from the wife getting their home life back on track, and if I couldn't get any peace there...I'd find it elsewhere.

 

[RidgeHunter]

A reverse situation of the "family first" mantra bring abused is my girlfriend's sister. She is 40 and never moved out because she has the family convinced she "takes care of mom" even though mom didn't need care until very recently. In reality she got a free place to live and a babysitter for her kid while she closed down the bars nightly and slept until afternoon.

I don't play that crap. We've got sick people and old people in the family too and we are kind to them without anyone getting shafted. And they're not the type to want to shaft anyone, luckily.

It's emotional manipulation when people abuse the kindness of others or use illness as a key to the proverbial city. If grandma can be taken care of in a way that makes OP's life better, that needs to happen. Matters not if OP is a jerk. His wife will benefit from it too. ****, they've been stressed to tbe point of divorce being threatened. This situation is clearly not sustainable.

 

[Waltherfan]

I didn't take the time to read all 6 pages but here's my contribution: http://zen-sense.blogspot.com/2008/11/forgiving-unforgiven.html

 

[ronny]

You don't know what you missed.

 

[DavidMcmillan]

Headline today on "Oklahoman" "Kindness is Contagious"

 

[twoguns?]

OHmMMMMMM