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David2012

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About how old is this kid? Just something to consider... no reflection on your daughter.. I'm just speaking in generality. Nightly togetherness for hours at a time can turn youthfull friendship or puppy love into passionate love for some young people. In the extreme, are you prepared to have this kid as a son-in-law and / or the unmarried father of a grandchild? Also, at some point this kid may want a key in order to come & go as he pleases.. you prepared to have your daughter give a troubled kid the key to your home? I'd date a woman a long time before I would ever trust her enough to give her a key and the run of my home... you might unknowingly be doing that for a troubled kid you know virtually nothing about. You need to go into this with both eyes wide-open! A guy I know just let a 23 year old woman he'd known for years move into his home because she was down on her luck. He came home from work last Friday and found she had stolen several thousand $'s worth of his things and taken off.
 

beast1989

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Definitely an unfortunate situation for the kid but you need to make sure you keep you and your family as your priority and not jeopardize anything.

Back when I graduated high school in California and move back to OK to go to OU my gf had a year left of high school and she lived with my mom when I left. I was half way across the country and my mom and gf were like two peas in a pod. I realize I was lucky for that situation to turn out well but it still had its bumps along the way.
 

Stan Upchurch

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i've had this happen when my daughter was n High School. All of her friends and their parents knew that our house was open for kids who needed a place to sleep. On occasion I've had kids show up on the doorstep at 2:00 A.M. with pillow in hand. Some stayed one night others two or three months. We would tell them that their parents needed to knpw where they were.Bbut we checked with our lawyer, often.
 

reddog1

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This is how I grew up. Thank you Stan Upchurch!!!!

Wasn't because of my Parents, they were the best parents a kid could have.

I made bad choices, however I never stole from anyone.

If it wern't for ppl like you, who knows where the hell I would be now. Dead, in prison, or worse.

God Bless Brotha!!!

Ha!! I have never heard that term "couch kid" lmao!!

I was a couch kid!!!! wahahahaa
 

Cedar Creek

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Have you talked to the boy's mother? It would be a good thing to have an open line of communication if you are expecting a resolution of the parent/child conflict. If he is a minor you need some written documentation from parent allowing you to get medical treatment, etc. If he is still in school it would be a wonderful idea to talk with the school administration and/or his school counselor to let them know what his living arrangements are.

Good Luck!

Cedar Creek

For what it's worth - I'm retired after 39 years in the school business and have been involved one way or another in similar circumstances many times. All I can say is keep your eyes and ears open and remember your family comes first.
 

BikerHT

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We had 'couch kids' many times when our daughters were still at home. Definitely open lines of communication w/his mother. If it is going to be long term and she wants out of the picture - even temporarily - at a minimum get a POA so you can consent to health care/medical treatment. As others have mentioned, a family law attorney consultation would be advisable these days. Most initial consultations are free of charge.
 

ripnbst

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About how old is this kid? Just something to consider... no reflection on your daughter.. I'm just speaking in generality. Nightly togetherness for hours at a time can turn youthfull friendship or puppy love into passionate love for some young people. In the extreme, are you prepared to have this kid as a son-in-law and / or the unmarried father of a grandchild? Also, at some point this kid may want a key in order to come & go as he pleases.. you prepared to have your daughter give a troubled kid the key to your home? I'd date a woman a long time before I would ever trust her enough to give her a key and the run of my home... you might unknowingly be doing that for a troubled kid you know virtually nothing about. You need to go into this with both eyes wide-open! A guy I know just let a 23 year old woman he'd known for years move into his home because she was down on her luck. He came home from work last Friday and found she had stolen several thousand $'s worth of his things and taken off.

The early half of this post would be my caution as well.
 

cichlid-dave

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Yeah thanks so far for the good advice. As to the two of them together alone that will not happen. Either my wife or I will be home with them. I don't want to be a grandparent at 45. There are other forces at work here and he may move out of state. Positive thing for him is we are trying to get him to quit smoking. He seems to have his head on straight.
 

HMFIC

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I think a key point may have been overlooked... this kid didn't seek out an escape from his terrible home, he was reportedly KICKED OUT.

Without Dave providing some other information on why he was kicked out over an argument and how old he is, it seems to me that the whole attitude of assuming he's helping out a kid from a troubled home might be premature.

Care to share any more details?

Ps. I'm just very hypersensitive to avoiding drama in my life at this point so my perspective might be a little different.
 

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