RE: Variance in the Stillwater Fire Code for the birthday celebration of @aarondhgraham
Your recent request to exceed the existing city of Stillwater Fire Code of putting an outrageous number of candles on a birthday cake has been noted.
The have taken this matter into consideration and have temporarily approved the variance for one (1) day, 11/17/2023. However, they did place the following restrictions on the variance.
1. There must be a chemical or CO2 fire extinguisher within five (5) feet of the area containing object set on fire.
2. The fire can only last 2.5 minutes. After this time limit has expired, the fire must be extinguished by the birthday person or in case of failure to do so by said person, by chemical or CO2 fire extinguisher.
3. The Stillwater Fire Department must be notified five (5) minutes before the lighting of the candles either by calling 911 or calling me directly at 405 555 1243.
4. You must also have the Stillwater Fire Department Medical Services Ambulance and or Paramedics on standby to revive the old geezer who foolishly attempts to blow out the resulting inferno the candles will undoubtedly cause.
Realizing this is a happy occasion, the Oklahoma Shooters Association recognizes this event only comes around once per year, this code variance has been granted for one day, November 17th, 2023. If the old fart lives another year, another variance must be applied for.