Let's just make this thread about awful things we consumed as kids/teenagers. Some I miss, like gallons of Kool-Aid.
Some make me physically ill to think about. Like how I would sometimes eat this for breakfast on 10th-12th grades. I used to eat it during my first period class and don't really remember anyone commenting on how fawking disgusting that I was not only eating this, but doing so for breakfast, in front of other students and the teacher. I mean it's making nauseous to make this post, much less to eat it.
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A Hostess Apple Pie, for those of you with self-respect, is a disgusting mixture of old tire shreds that are marinaded for several months in the leftover apple juice from millions of half-empty discarded kid's juice boxes and some type of solvent that makes the tire shreds translucent and chewable. The chunky translucent tire goo is then sweetened with a 2:1 sugar to goo ratio. The mess is then folded and sealed into a recycled cardboard crust, at which point a homeless guy urinates on it and then sprinkles it with more sugar and his own dandruff. The pie is then put in an envelope made of the paper that separates tennis shoes in the box when you buy them. The pie is now ready to be shipped to wherever kids or suicidal fat men in sweatpants shop.
Pie
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Cola
I can also still hear my mother saying "Jesus Christ son for BREAKFAST?!?." in a sickened voice as she watched me wrapping a wedge of chocolate cake in a paper towel at 6:50 a.m. so that I could eat it while driving to school along with my ever-present can of RC Cola. I graduated skinny, seemingly healthy and able to run like it weren't no thing, but luckily I had an epiphany as Oprah says. Unsustainable lifestyle I figured. God this post feels bad.
I remember in college, my usual meal when studying for finals was 3 packages of beef and cheese sticks, 1 package of sour gummy worms, 1 package of cherry sours, and a 1 liter mountain dew.
Fruit Pie's will be around after a nuclear holocaust!
I am thoroughly addicted to orange Sunkist.
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