Phrases you heard through the years........

[steelhorse]

As full of crap as a Christmas turkey.

If brains were dymanite, he couldn't blow his nose.

Birds of a feather flock together.

His elevator doesn't go all the way up.

She is like a porcupine...........

Hotter than a two dollar pistol.

Loose as a goose.

The sky is the limit.

Shiver me Timbers.

What's up doc?

 

[angsniper]

Shakin like a dog sh!ttin peach seeds.

Nervous as a whore in church.

 

[SwampPapa]

here i set cheeks aflexan giving birth to another texan, pi$$ like a russian race horse ment u had to go bad

got that part but why "Russian"

"don't come runnin' to me when you break your neck/leg/back"

 

[OKCHunter]

If she had to haul a$$ it would take two trips.

 

[jstaylor62]

He was in fourth gear and plowin' shallow - Driving fast

Finer than Frog's hair - Something that is pretty cool

That dog wont hunt - Something you dont believe to true

I'm not screwing this goat, I'm just holding the tail - An unwilling participant in an activity that is going bad

If brains was lard, that boy wouldn't grease to big a skillet - Somebody that is not smart...like Jethro

Its not rocket science -

Not the brightest bulb on the christmas tree -

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer -

Beans and rice short of a mexican dinner

Dag gum sorry booger - That's not good

Cheese and crackers! - It must be a Yankee thing

Dont get your panties in a wad...or twisted -

Geez Louise! -

Its rainings cats and dogs, cause I just stepped in a poodle - Heavy rain

A sphincter says what? - Prompt somebody to say what

I know you are, what am I? -

I'm rubber you're glue, what you say bounces off me and sticks to you! -

And when I hurts me finger...I sticks in it Olive Oil...yuk..yuk...yuk

Checker or wrecker

 

[53convert]

Where you born stupid or just working at it today
swettin like a $5 dollar whore who heard the fleet had just came in.
F me...no F you

 

[shooterdave]

That azzhole's been talking **** behind my back all day... = Farted
You could ***** up an anvil with a rubber mallet.
Goofy as a peach orchard boar.
Shiny as a new penny
*****ed up like a soup sandwich.
Dumb as ****.
Does a shark **** in the sea?
Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock

 

[mikeyinokc]

My mother's favorite was: **** fire and save the matches.

 

[OKMike]

Either turd floater or frog drowner, both describing a hard rain.

 

[steelhorse]

Watch your top knot.

Keep your powder dry.

Drinks like a fish.

Jump on the band wagon.

Monkey on your back.

Queer as a 3 dollar bill.