How to deal with a Divorce and kids

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RaysZ71

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I've been married almost 10 years. Met my wife in 2001 and were married in 2002. She had a small 14 mo old girl. Two years later we had our own boy. Tonight I found out that she has cheated on me and she has been talking to this guy for a little bit. I love my son and daughter but I know that once this happens, I will have no rights to her. How do I deal with this? I never imagined myself not being able to say goodnight to my son and daughter every night and now this is upon me and I don't know how to handle it. Everything seems so messed up and confusing right now. So many emotions, Im scared, I feel like I cant breath. If some of you here have gone thru this, how do I deal with this?
 

IronMan

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I been there my friend. Lost my daughter when she was 1yr old. We found each other again last year due to the internet,after 36yrs.Get a lawyer!! It's the only way to guarantee your rights.

Hope it works out for you.
Rex
 

Lurker66

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If you are ready to end your marriage, get a lawyer.
If she is willing and you think you could forgive her, see a marriage counselor.

Good luck.
 

yukonjack

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If you still want to have a relationship with both children then calm down. Start by not calling your wife names or making deragatory comments. Get your emotions in check. Men and women cheat. It happens. It's not a good thing. But it's also not the end of the world. My ex-cheated, we got divorced, then she got some Jesus. We are still friends. She just made a bad choice. Life goes on. That's the best advice I can give you, calm down, think rationally. If you want to have a relationship with your daughter, which after 10 years she is, then you're still going to have to have a relationship with your wife.
 

MrShooter

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I'm married with 2 kids (I'm not the biological father). I stepped up to take care of my kids and have been the only real dad they've ever had. So as far as I'm concerned, they are mine.

I feel that you need to really consider what could happen when you step into a relationship like that in which you have no legal right to them after a divorce. It's harsh but this is a topic that is better not "sugar-coated".
If you didn't adopt the child then you're kinda screwed... I didn't adopt my two yet but I haven't had the $2500 each to do so. I can't imagine the pain you're in from this, but the only thing I can think of try very hard to stay good friends with your ex wife do you can explain to her how you feel and maybe she will setup time to spend with the unadopted child or maybe offer to adopt/pay child support so you have legal right.

But seriously, I feel for you man. I really do. I wish you the best and will pray for your peaceful resolution of this dilemma. It may work out well if you stay calm and focused on a positive outcome.
 

RaysZ71

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I have not called her names. Im very calm considering the problem at hand. This is the third and final time that I have forgave her on mistakes due to lies, Im done. I know we all make mistakes, I do everyday. I have had plenty of chances to sleep around and I chose my wife and kids every time. The problem is that she cheated on me with the guy that she had my daughter with and was married to before me. This guy was not in my daughters life this entire time we've been together and then pops out out of nowhere and pulls this. Not a letter or a phone call to my daughter and comes back and turns my world upside down. Im trying so hard from becoming a news story. All I want to do is beat the crap out of that guy. Will I? probably not but Im just so angry right now.

Thanks everyone for your honesty, it's harsh, yes but its the truth and that's what I need right now. Im supposed to wake up at 5 am to go to work but I cant even sleep..
 

yukonjack

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It's a tough boat to be in. You know though that she's not a bad person. It's just something inside of them that's missing. She was like that long before you came into the picture. Give it a few days and you'll figure it out. Just remember what is it that's important to you and go from there.
 

RaysZ71

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It's a tough boat to be in. You know though that she's not a bad person. It's just something inside of them that's missing. She was like that long before you came into the picture. Give it a few days and you'll figure it out. Just remember what is it that's important to you and go from there.

Thanks, this really sucks.
 
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rimmikindley

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You don't have to worry about where she is or what she's doing, and life for you goes on pretty much the same (with her not around)...only difference being, you don't have to deal with her at all...

Make you and your kids lives great...it's up to you!!!
 

RaysZ71

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You don't have to worry about where she is or what she's doing, and life for you goes on pretty much the same (with her not around)...only difference being, you don't have to deal with her at all...

Make you and your kids lives great...it's up to you!!!

I totally agree. Its not her that I'm having a hard time with. I just dont like being away from my kids, specially my son. He 's 9 and at that stage where he wants and tries to be like me. Im going for joint custody.
 

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