I Believed The Gold Bond Lie

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jcizzle

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You are all LIARS!!!

I made a trip to the store with my wife a little while ago and felt things rubbing wrong. Remembering the recent Gold Bond thread on here, I knew we had some at home that's been in the cabinet for a while that I've dumped in shoes and such.

Upon arriving home, I decided to prepare for the evening of coaching swimming that I will soon leave to that takes place in a hot and humid pool building. I reached under the bathroom cabinet, dropped trau and began to apply.

This stuff gave me a good cool feeling for about 30 seconds and now feels like my bells and crevice are on fire. I'm pretty sure this stuff contains some sort of acid and I'll later find the skin separated from my body near my underparts.

You guys are either some tough SOBs with a fetish for pain or I've been the target of a cruel fraternity prank where everyone knew and was in on it except for me. "Here, put this on your junk. It's good for keeping your stick from getting a muscle cramp."
 

HiredHand

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Maybe you need a little of this,

300.jpg
 

Spata

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You are all LIARS!!!

I made a trip to the store with my wife a little while ago and felt things rubbing wrong. Remembering the recent Gold Bond thread on here, I knew we had some at home that's been in the cabinet for a while that I've dumped in shoes and such.

Upon arriving home, I decided to prepare for the evening of coaching swimming that I will soon leave to that takes place in a hot and humid pool building. I reached under the bathroom cabinet, dropped trau and began to apply.

This stuff gave me a good cool feeling for about 30 seconds and now feels like my bells and crevice are on fire. I'm pretty sure this stuff contains some sort of acid and I'll later find the skin separated from my body near my underparts.

You guys are either some tough SOBs with a fetish for pain or I've been the target of a cruel fraternity prank where everyone knew and was in on it except for me. "Here, put this on your junk. It's good for keeping your stick from getting a muscle cramp."


i.imgur.com_fJrsEkp.gif
 

Brandi

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That's what happens when you make rash decisions!!! LMAO

Seriously though Gold Bond works great...are you sure you didn't grab a bottle of Comet or Bon Ami? That would probably sting a bit.
 

jcizzle

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So it seems I should've read further into the GB thread. Pg 4 makes it clear that I shouldn't have gone with the blue bottle that was in my cabinet by default.

I guess there are different levels of this stuff and I went all out.
 

rhodesbe

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The Blue Bottle is like a Ghurka Knife. It can't be used without drawing blood. Poor jcizzle; your national park just got urban developed.
 

cody6766

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You have to pick the right color. The green is like little gnomes with icy hands massaging your bean bag and fleshy fun bridge. The blue is like giving those gnomes hammers, pick axes and liquid nitrogen. There used to be an epic thread on the subject on some car forum, but my google skills are lacking.

Yellow or green - fresh and clean
Go with blue - your balls are through.
 

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