Making Fun of Engineers

[MBB]

There totally is. If I'm ever sick, I want my doctor to be a jerk. The best doctors have horrible people skills.

This is just a generalization. However, it is a generalization.

 

[RidgeHunter]

I fear the day when I can't make sweeping generalizations about entire groups of people on the internet.

That, and arguing with and insulting people you've never met is why the internet was invented.

 

[Bierhunter]

When much later I got to be a program manager, I got along with the harware and systems engineers well. However I soon learned some issues with software engineers:
1. Software projects are estimated 90% complete for 90% of the time.
2. Multiply any software estimate by 1.8 for cost and 3 for schedule.
3. When software gets behind schedule, adding more people slows it down more.
4. If a software genius demands to program in his favorite language that is not approved for the project, don't tell him no; just fire him immediately. None of the other software programmers will understand or be able to use anything he does.
5. Software engineers consider a module complete when the code is written. The System Engineer considers it complete when it actually runs in the object hardware. The Program Manager considers it complete when it is tested, documented, and deliverable to the customer.
6. Asking a software engineer why the code does not work, is months overdue, and is undocumented is futile. You won't understand the answer, and the problem is still there.

From personal experience in holding each of those positions in the past, and can definitely say that is 99.9% correct. (we all know nothing's 100%...hehe)

3. When software gets behind schedule, adding more people slows it down more.

#3 is so true, and it applies to many types of projects.

I wish more people understood #3. I've been fighting upper management on that for decades. (NO!!! I don't need more people on my team! They'll just get in the way!)

 

[Larry Morgan]

OK, a calculator and a Perl script that picks gears from the middle of a list.

So it can run on a device created by an engineer. See, I can play too!


I'll usually be the first to point out that stereotypes usually exist for a reason. Some people out there do fit in it quite well.

 

[vvvvvvv]

This is because in school they are taught using 1, maybe 2 languages.. with very little background in how the code actually works. Then once they get into the real world, they find their "favorite" language and do nothing but that.

This.

I don't claim to be an expert in any language, but I am self-taught in C/C++, PHP, JavaScript, CSS (okay, not programming but styling), HTML (okay... markup), and MySQL (okay... query...). (()'s are for those of you who will nitpick.)

When I went to college, SWOSU was all C++ for the 1000/2000 classes, and Java for the 3000/4000 OOP classes.

Here is a few things that have ruined programmers:

1.) Intellisense
2.) Auto-Debugging (if you dont actually have to look at whats not working, you never learn what was wrong)

Like poopgiggle... WTF are these for?

I tried a couple of IDE's once for about a week because a temporary job "required" it for "efficiency", and I needed the money. I spent more time setting up the environment than I did on the actual work.

95% of my work is done in gedit just because it's convenient. The other 5% is done in vim when I just need to make a quick change and I've already got a shell open.

And most importantly,...
3.) Diva Programmers (they think they know it all, and there way is the only way)

Oh God I hate those people. Seriously. The WordPress camp seems to be overrun with them (especially those that think WP is THE solution for everything, no matter how many hacks they have to make that take twice as long as other CMS's and end up failing when the core is upgraded).

 

[Spiff]

All it takes to get an engineering degree is average intelligence and the ability to put up with a lot of ****.

I am terrified that some of the folks I graduated with will be designing airplanes.

BSME/OSU Dec. '09.

 

[poopgiggle]

So it can run on a device created by an engineer. See, I can play too!

The thread is called "Making Fun of Engineers" so I'm using this thread as an opportunity to troll engineers.

I always keep an EE or two around to make sure they can fix my toys when they break.

 

[OK Bowhunter]

I understand that to be an engineer you have to ahve "The Knack" go to link.

The Knack

 

[MBB]

I fear the day when I can't make sweeping generalizations about entire groups of people on the internet.

That, and arguing with and insulting people you've never met is why the internet was invented.

LOL. I was trying to say generalizations/stereotypes exist for a reason. i.e., I was agreeing with you!

And, btw, I invented the internet and that's exactly why I invented it.

 

[MBB]

I understand that to be an engineer you have to ahve "The Knack" go to link.

The Knack

I'm almost always the first to mention "The Knack"! Why didn't I think of it this time, the one time when it really matters?!