*I Dont Understand English*
something!
I use this one all the time. "There is nothing worse than being held hostage by the ignorance of another person!"
I overheard this exact quote once:
"You would have never guessed the amount of unbelieveably disgusting filth that came outta' her mouth...I was shocked...Of course the other question is answered when she looks straight into the camera, smiles, and says very emphatically: 'J mu+h* fu**in' P, baby!'.
It was completely depraved, but a masterpiece nonetheless...quite possibly the best ever."
"You would have never guessed the amount of unbelieveably disgusting filth that came outta' her mouth...I was shocked...Of course the other question is answered when she looks straight into the camera, smiles, and says very emphatically: 'J mu+h* fu**in' P, baby!'.
It was completely depraved, but a masterpiece nonetheless...quite possibly the best ever."
Last edited:
A few I've heard along the way:
How about the one I say to people when I'm a smart azz:[ I am remiss!! I stand Chastised and Rebuked!! I make atonement to you (sir or madame)
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants!!
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
- Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
- Advising the President.
- Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
I'm not staring at your breasts, I was reading your T-shirt!
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
WANTED:
A tall, good-looking woman with a good
reputation, who is friends with every-
body, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1, 3 and 5
Abacadabra! Dang it, you're still ugly!
If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...
If I got a nickel everytime someone said they hated me, I'd be broke as hell.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole damn Chicken!
The distant hills call to me. Their rolling waves seduce my heart. Oh, how I want to walk in their lush valleys. Oh, how I want to run down their green slopes. Alas, I cannot. Damn the electric fence! Damn the electric fence!
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it!
Anyone who speaks german can't be evil.
I was standing in the park, wondering why frisbees got bigger as they came closer... then it hit me!
Be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home.
There!! That ought to be a start!!!
Cohiba
|
|
|
V
No you can't use mine....its special, descriptive, and dedicated to me!!!!
|
|
|
V
How about the one I say to people when I'm a smart azz:[ I am remiss!! I stand Chastised and Rebuked!! I make atonement to you (sir or madame)
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants!!
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
- Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
- Advising the President.
- Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
I'm not staring at your breasts, I was reading your T-shirt!
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
WANTED:
A tall, good-looking woman with a good
reputation, who is friends with every-
body, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1, 3 and 5
Abacadabra! Dang it, you're still ugly!
If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...
If I got a nickel everytime someone said they hated me, I'd be broke as hell.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole damn Chicken!
The distant hills call to me. Their rolling waves seduce my heart. Oh, how I want to walk in their lush valleys. Oh, how I want to run down their green slopes. Alas, I cannot. Damn the electric fence! Damn the electric fence!
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it!
Anyone who speaks german can't be evil.
I was standing in the park, wondering why frisbees got bigger as they came closer... then it hit me!
Be nice to your kids, they choose your nursing home.
There!! That ought to be a start!!!
Cohiba
|
|
|
V
No you can't use mine....its special, descriptive, and dedicated to me!!!!
|
|
|
V
"I am offensive, and I find this christian." -- some guy on youtube.
I heard on from Blake Shelton the other night on Leno.
As I recall is went something like this.
I'm having a really bad day. How bad? It could be raining titties and I'd get hit in the head by a dick."
Dave
As I recall is went something like this.
I'm having a really bad day. How bad? It could be raining titties and I'd get hit in the head by a dick."
Dave
