Fess up folks! cooking confession time.

[badrinker]

Was off yesterday, and decided to cook up a venison backstrap steak, and some eggs for breakfast.
Got out the flour container to dredge the steak in, and make gravy later, but it was empty.
dug around in the pantry, and found a 2 qt container of flour.
Put the seasoned flour steak in some olive oil, and let it cook pretty slow. Got the eggs out, and turned the steak over, noticing how brownish red it was, but it was early, and dropped a couple of eggs beside it.
Well, it started smoking, so turned the heat off, and the vent fan on max. Noticed the olive oil turning a dark brown.
Took everything out of the skillet, and put on a plate. It was ugly looking!
dipped my finger in the flour, and discovered it was convectioners sugar!

Not one to waste food, I tried a piece of the steak, and spit it out. That was HORRIBLE!!

What was your worst cooking screw-up?

Growing up my mom did the same thing with chicken. Wow, memories of childhood!

 

[rebelracer79]

My wife made bananna pudding that you had to cut with a fork and chew...

 

[poopgiggle]

I once made my famous dish that I call, "poopgiggle grabs a bunch of random stuff from his fridge and sautes it" with bell peppers, bratwurst, and...onions I think. Served over rice.

It turned out OK, but then I decided that I was going to deglaze the pan with beer and try to make a pan sauce out of it, because BRATWURST + BEER = GOOD so what could go wrong?

I discovered that I can't actually make a decent pan sauce. At all. It tasted like...burned glue, I guess.

Dennishoddy, I'm intrigued by the idea of coating steak with sugar and carmelizing the sugar. I can't really afford cooking experiments with steak but it's an interesting thought.

 

[RidgeHunter]

Dennishoddy, I'm intrigued by the idea of coating steak with sugar and carmelizing the sugar. I can't really afford cooking experiments with steak but it's an interesting thought.

Aren't you the dude that said he would walk out on a date if she uses steak sauce...and this intrigues you?

You're a complicated man, poopgiggle.

 

[WTJ]

back when i was single and batchin', i bought me a new cast iron dutch oven. first NEW cast iron i ever had. i had heard they needed to be seasoned, so i put some oil, onion salt and garlic salt in it and threw it on a burner of the cook stove in the kitchen. thought what the heck, i'll throw a little red cayenne powder in it too. accidently dumped in more than i intended, so i put a little more oil in it, and went out on the porch where i had some steaks grillin and an ice chest full of coldbeer. got to drinkin beer, eatin steak, and visitin and plumb forgot about it til someone said it looked like the house was on fire. evidently my grease had cooked dry and the whole thing was smokin like a peterbuilt. ran towards the kitchen but didnt make it. did you know when you burn dry cayenne pepper it makes toxic smoke? not only could i not see, i couldnt breath either. ran out to the water hose and got myself hosed off enough i could function (barely) covered my face and crawled back in and got the pan and carried it outside. we had to evacuate the entire front yard.

Now, that there is funny!

 

[poopgiggle]

Aren't you the dude that said he would walk out on a date if she uses steak sauce...and this intrigues you?

I'd be OK with using a cheap cut like bottom round.

I'm flattered that you're paying me close enough attention to spot that.

You're a complicated man, poopgiggle.

Do not meddle in the affairs of poopgiggles, for they are subtle and quick to anger.

 

[WTJ]

Made a whole ham once with glaze, pineapples, and cherries. Tip: Remove second coat of plastic PRIOR to baking glaze.

 

[beast1989]

My lady KNOWS to "not trust thy man with skillet". Honestly I havent had the opportunity to mess up to much because its pretty much a rule in the family that no man cooks in the kitchen.

But i did "blacken" some salmon and not in a good way. lol

And my lady has an unusual habit of ALWAYS over doing everything she cooks. She over seasons, she over cooks, etc etc. She doesnt get the concept that if she doesnt add enough that she can add more to taste, she just adds to much or cooks it to long right out the gate that way we are stuck with it. And apparently she believes a dish isnt done cooking until she can see little wisp of smoke rising from the sides of the stove door or the dish has a slight burned look to it. lol

 

[davek]

My cooking once caused the Fire Department to show up.

Back in the olden days, before microwave ovens were common, hot dogs were often cooked in boiling water.
One day I came home after working 24 hours straight and put a pan of water couple of hot dogs in the stove, sat down to wait on it to heat up and.... fell asleep. The water boiled away, the hot dogs burned and filled the apartment with smoke that had little flecks of burned hot dog floating around in it. I woke up and tried to ventilate it, but someone called the FD.
I showed them the carbonized hot dogs and explained what happened and they left, but I'll bet they had a laugh over that one.

 

[tomthebaker]

Well, I am a pro chef and baker, so I have seen almost everything. When I was young, a manager at a fish/seafood restaurant on the East Coast told us "take everything you would normally throw away, and boil it in the stockpot."

It had lobster heads, potatoes, pepper seeds, fish heads, guts, crab pieces, drippings, scrapings, broccoli stems, bread crumbs, fish blood, and that was just the good stuff. We served it to one of the other employees.

He loved it.