Hometown pride.

[farmerbyron]

We're number one! We're number one!



http://www.thelostogle.com/2015/02/18/tuttle-is-apparently-the-sexiest-city-in-america/

Tuttle is apparently the sexiest city in America.

It may be time for our friends at Patricia’s or Hustler Hollywood to open a Tuttle location.

Last week, some company called PinkCherry Sex Toys released a list of “the 50 sexiest cities in America.” They determined the rankings by analyzing how much city residents spend on sex toys, adult novelties and lingerie per person. Basically, the stuff you’d find at the bottom of Clark Matthews’s closet.

(Hey, a Clark Matthews reference!)

After analyzing all the numbers, the top city on PinkCherry’s list was Tuttle, Oklahoma.

Yes, that’s right. Tuttle is the sexiest city in America. To celebrate the occasion, Tuttle-based Braum’s will be offering a limited-edition Pink Cherry ice cream flavor in all metro stores.

Via a news release by PinkCherry Sex Toys…

PinkCherry Sex Toys compiled their annual list of the top cities in America purchasing sex toys, adult novelties and lingerie. Looking at sales over a one year period (January 1, 2014 – Dec. 31, 2014), PinkCherry was able to determine which cities ordered the most amount of product per person. We divided the amount of revenue in each region by the number of adults who live there (according to the census) to tell us the average amount of sales per capita.

The top three cities whose residents ordered the most for this period are Tuttle, OK, Hearne, TX, and Celebration, FL. Tuttle claims the top spot, with their population spending approximately 13 times the national average! Affton, Missouri, comes in close with 4th place.

Yeah, I don’t know how to explain this either. But let’s try.

If you ask me, the whole thing is probably skewed by Jason White, Aaron Tuttle or the Braum’s family. They’re about the only things in Tuttle, right?

However, considering Jason White probably uses air conditioning hoses and old college football trophies as sex toys, and Aaron Tuttle mistakes tanning lotion for lube, that means the Braum’s family is probably due all the credit. Maybe they use dildos to homogenize their milk? That could explain why our food critic, Louis Fowler, thinks it tastes so good.

Of course, perhaps the Braum’s family orders sex toys for their employees in bulk. That would make sense, too. It would not only explain why it takes so long for Braum’s employees to complete an order, but also answers the decade old question “Why does the Braum’s girl seems so happy and cheerful before getting wiped-out by a semi?”

 

[dennishoddy]

Congrats on the win!
Any motels in the area that have a "keys in the fishbowl" program on Friday nights?

 

[Lurker66]

I know 2 ppl from Tuttle. If we had a Pit, I'd say more.

 

[swampratt]

You know most of the people that order that stuff can't get the real thing IMHO.
So that leads me to think that Tuttle is full of Fuglies. yes I said it.
Then again I could be wrong as I bet the Playboy mansion has a bunch of that stuff laying around and not too many Fuglies there.

I guess I need to go to Tuttle and walk the wally-world isles and see for myself.
I wonder if people would be offended if I asked them if they helped to make Tuttle the Sexiest city in America???

 

[TerryMiller]

Unless it is new, you won't find any wally-world aisles. We lived near there for about 4 years.

I do have to wonder what is keeping all those Braum's cows contented.

 

[swampratt]

That is right I was thinking Newcastle

 

[farmerbyron]

You know most of the people that order that stuff can't get the real thing IMHO.
So that leads me to think that Tuttle is full of Fuglies. yes I said it.
Then again I could be wrong as I bet the Playboy mansion has a bunch of that stuff laying around and not too many Fuglies there.

I guess I need to go to Tuttle and walk the wally-world isles and see for myself.
I wonder if people would be offended if I asked them if they helped to make Tuttle the Sexiest city in America???

Won't find a Wally World but you can find about eleventy billion different churches to choose from. Might explain our ranking. Church going folk don't want to run into other church going folk at the dildo store so they buy online.