On the 8th Day God Created Marines.

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surjimmy

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In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.
In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void,and without form.
So God created the heavens and the Earth.
He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness.
The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea,and these he filled with many assorted creatures.

And the dark, salty, slimey creatures that inhabited the murkey depths of the oceans, God called sailors.
And he dressed them accordingly.
They had little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom.
And their shirts had cute little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on their necks.
He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards.
God nicknamed them "squids" and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them.
To further identify these unloved creatures, he called them "petty" and "commodore"
instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.

And the flakey creatures of the land, God called soldiers.
And with a twinkle in his eye, and a sense of humor that only he could have, God made their trousers too short and their covers too large.
He also made their pockets oversized,so that they may warm their hands.
And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate.
And he gave them emblems and crests....
and all sorts of shiny things that glittered....
and devices that dangled.
(When you are God you tend to get carried away)
On the 6th day, he thought about creating some air creatures for which he designed a Greyhound bus driver's uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys.
But he discarded the idea during the first week,and it was not until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the "wild blue yonder wonders".

And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.
But on the 8th day, at O dark 30, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy.
God was not happy!
So he thought about his labors, and in his divine wisdom God created a divine creature.
And this he called Marine.

And these Marines, who God had created in his own image,were to be of the air, and of the land, and of the sea.
And these he gave many wonderful uniforms.
Some were green, some were blue with red trim.
And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan.
He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil.
He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training.
And he gave them evening and dress uniforms.......
sharp and stylish, handsome things, so that they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the hell out of everybody!
He even gave them swords, so that people who were not impressed, could be dealt with accordingly.
And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the Earth and saw that it was good.
But was God happy?
NO!
God was still not happy!
Because in the course of his labors,
he had forgotten one thing.
He did not have a Marine uniform for himself.
But he thought about it, and thought about it,and finally satisfied himself in knowing that
NOT EVERYBODY CAN BE A MARINE!
 

druryj

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So that must be the same day that the Department of the Navy was created.

Yes, so they could sail merrily about in their large gray boats and haul Marines to varied locales where diplomacy had failed in order to bring hell and havoc on our nation's enemies. We like the Navy, they give us rides to where the fun begins. Thanks for the lift fellas! Send more boolets!
 

kroberts2131

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One day there was a battalion of soldiers training when a Marine appeared on top of the hill. The Marine called the soldiers everything under the sun. The Army Colonel looked at his men and said "Go kick his ass".......A few minutes later the entire battalion came running back, scared to death. The Colonel asked what the problem was........."SIR, THERES TWO MARINES UP THERE"
 

Souperphly

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An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.



After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"



The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing."



So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.



Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.



One of the Marines then exclaimed, "Damn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"
 

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