Weird Sayings

[Cohiba]

Forgot the most important one!!!

When I hear my wife yell this....she's found out I did something, broke something and tried to fix it before she knew I broke it, didn't do something she's asked me for months to do or fix, come in very late at night or early morning, bought another something that she thinks I have plenty of......you know...guy stuff.

When I hear her yell this....I usually slip out of the house over to my neighbors yard and visit with him...knowing she won't act demon possessed in front of him. Yep, when I hear her yell "this"....somehow I have somewhere else to be!!!


HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!


Yep, that's my signal to : vacate the premises

 

[Sanford]

Well sh*t fire and save matches!

 

[fubarjohnnyr]

Busier than a cat with diarrhea.

 

[THE JOKER]

Sweatin' like a whore in church

 

[Commander Keen]

That's a new one on me!

I suppose I should have posted the translation as well, seeing as how I've only ever heard my grandfather say it.

Basically it means "Do something fancy/be impressive, jackass. Someone's watching."

If the Lord's willin' and the creek bank don't rise.

I have always heard this one as "Lord willing, and the Creek don't rise." Creek referring to the tribe, specifically.

 

[Rod Snell]

don't know whether he's getting up or going to bed....

Thinks he's choppin' big wood but still in the kindlin'
(comment on a political speech)

(was so scared) didn't know whether to s**t or go blind..


(so dumb) he don't know s**t from Shinola....(brand of shoe polish)

don't give a Tinker's Dam

 

[THE JOKER]

You don't know your ass from a hole in the ground!

 

[cowadle]

couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel

don't know straight up from siccum

six foot up a bulls ass

worthless as tits on a boar hog

crooked as a dogs hind leg

colder than a witches tit

 

[O4L]

"Don't know siccum from come here."

"**** or get off the pot!"

"Nuttier than a squirrel turd."

"As full of **** as a Christmas goose!"

"Dumber than dirt."

"Slicker than owl ****."

"Come hell or high water."

"He's got enough money to burn a wet mule!"

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Slicker than a two dollar hooker that's out of condoms.

Shaking like a dog "passing" a peach pit.