Sir, I say, Sir, You Farted Before my Wife!

[ignerntbend]

Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn.
Pistols are drawn and the public farter is reduced to a pile of goo, which is ok. This is really the way things should be.

 

[ignerntbend]

Folk's if you're traveling abroad there are some pretty serious laws about releasing farts, particularly those that will peal paint.
Consult the State Department website.Word to the wise.

 

[Fyrtwuck]

What did you do this time?

 

[Old Fart]

It was in me and it wanted out.

 

[BikerHT]

See RickN --- iggy is a wealth of information! If you don't believe me...just ask him.

 

[Hobbes]

 

[ez bake]

See RickN --- iggy is a wealth of information! If you don't believe me...just ask him.

Are you saying RickN is the fart trying to escape from the rectum of society?

 

[ConstitutionCowboy]

I'm lucky. Anyone over 65 can fart with impunity. 'Course, my wife wouldn't agree ...

Woody

 

[Cohiba]

I was always afraid to fart in public...why...because of the noise!!! If I would know with 100% accuracy I could release a "SBD"...silent but deadly..I would.

So, I like to play games instead...what I call WalMart/ Walgreens games.

I like to find an elderly person , an elderly couple, a young woman by herself or a young married couple.

I relish in the pleasure of slipping a box of condoms, enemas, douches, KY or Astroglide into their shopping cart WITHOUT them knowing. I've always kept it to no more than two items for fear of being caught...but at least one item for sure!!
I do my best trying to watch them or the person at the checkout line and to see the "perplexed" look on their face (s) and looking at each other or wondering how or who put that in their shopping cart.

Sometimes I can't watch them, so I still chuckle knowing the surprise they'll have at checkout time.

 

[Super Dave]

These days, I am less apt to push a big one out hard. You just can't trust a big fart. It gives me great pleasure to cut a stench monster loose in public, then look offended towards an innocent victim. Especially if that victim is my wife, or one of the kids.