Nope.
Do you ever feel guilty when you 'reward' your self with something expensive?
- Thread starter nofearfactor
- Start Date
Sounds just like my first cousin. He's a cardiologist in northern California in the town alot of our family grew up in just north of the bay area. He supposedly is one of the best at his job, in the world. When Im in Cali up at my tiny little cabin I live in when there at Bear Valley every other month I go see him and his family, he's only about 25 miles away from me down the mountain. This guy has it all, the humungous house, expensive cars, does all of the stuff like scuba diving and sailing his bigassed boat all over the world, etcetc. We played together as little kids and he grew up just like I did but now hes rich and successful. When he goes diving for abalone he calls us up to come down for a dinner he hosts for his friends. And alot of his friends are Drs too who show up in their Porsches,etc- my old 4x4, my Harley if its nice, or even my 98 Supra looks way out of place there.
After dinner just like in the movies the men retire to his den to smoke cigars and drink fancy liquer and yak about all of the stuff they have or places they go, their fancy jobs,etc. I usually have nothing to add to their conversations.
I play the guitar in a metal band and sell people holes in their skin with ink in it- some of whom will be seeing the dermatologist in the room some day to get something lazered off probably. I dont go on world class trips, excursions, explorations, etc. I take my wife for cruises in the Gulf, which we think is pretty ritzy, but thats just how white trash we are. I'm nothing at all like these guys and never will be. I dont dress rich, look rich, smell rich, even though I have a little dough for a bum musician/tattoo shop co-owner I just am not that guy to go around looking like it and never will be- Im tattooed over 60% of my body or more, multi pierced, wear extra long shorts, baseball caps, white cotton Tshirts, and combat boots or converse sneakers pretty much all year long. I own one suit that Ive had for years that I only use for 2 occasions- funerals or weddings. My only vice in the clothes department is a pretty freaking large collection of skater type sneakers (most still new in their boxes), and guitar or music equipment logo baseball caps- I have a ton of them.
I think if like me you grew up with not much you have a tendacy to hold on tight to what you get later in life. My house in Oklahoma is paid off, I have a place up in Cali in the mountains near a ski resort Ive had over 20 years that my grandfather bought in the 30s, and I paid all 3 of my exes places off where my 3 kids live. My current wife has a corporate job in a small family owned oil field equipment related company shes been at 20 something years since she got out of school at 20 and since we're doing ok shes stacking up her 401k and thinking early retirement when her youngest,a 14 yr old, leaves the nest. Her other kid,an 18 yr old, is going off to school this coming fall. My grandfather left me some prime California real estate that I lease/rent out and maintain as well as collecting mineral rights on land I own in other places- when the price of oil goes up I make a killing but then I have to keep myself in check because my other expenses are going to go up so its not really a good thing usually. My grandfathers helped me learn about investments, stocks,etc, when I was a kid. Ive been putting a sizeable amount of money in trusts for all 4 of my kids including my 2 steps for years so that after they leave home they dont have to ask me for anything ever- thats what their trusts are for- college or tech school expenses first, then when theyre 25 they get the rest of it to do what they wish and they better do good with it. After our general houshold expenses and home maintenance, vehicles and maintenance, pet needs, then the rest as I say is butter. I take some of it and stash it and my wife takes hers and does what she wants.
The 'guilt' thing only kicks in when I see, read, hear how bad others have it in our supposed bad economy and it pains me to spend money on the big stuff that are just 'wants' and not 'needs'- especially when Im trying to teach my kids to be thrifty and to go out in the world and be independant and learn to be good with their money some day. Thats why Im always on them about the water bills being too high so take 10-15 minute showers instead of 20, quit leaving lights on or wasteing food, shut the door the AC or heat is on, etcetc.
Then I want to go and buy another car, a classic car, because I think I would look cool driving it around on the weekends. Im still tossing the coin about buying the car. The guy isnt helping either- he texted me and said I could put a deposit on it so no one else gets it. Im gonna need to sit and sip some Four Roses this afternoon and think about it.
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Nope. I stopped feeling guilty about it when I realized the amount wasted money I have poured into trying to help sorry relatives who seem to think the world owes them a living.
I only feel guilty when I consider the money I've pounded down a rat hole. It seemed like a really good idea at the time.
I hear that!
At 57 years old, and one year out on double bypass surgery, I figure that if I don't reward myself a little bit now, when will I ever ? That said, I do try to keep those rewards within reason. As the Greeks have said for years,..."All things in moderation"
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