If you're the praying type . . .

[RETOKSQUID]

Praying for peace to you and your family.

 

[Two Gun Warrior]

Unfortunate update on mom. I'll be surprised if she makes it through this week.

She's been on some very heavy pain meds (including morphine as of a week ago) for a few weeks now and is going downhill fast.

My two brothers, our dad, our families and I have been preparing ourselves for this and are ready for her pain to go away. I've been trying to distract myself from everything, but man is it hard.

Go to the chapple look at the crucifix, feel the presence. I pray for your help and your family's. Remember the good times. Then go tell her you love her. I pray the best comes of it.

 

[THAT Gurl]

The impacts on her body from the treatment and overall lack of improvement lead to her no longer wanting to go through them. She's choosing to go out on her own terms and is just ready for the pain to end. She has been very adamant about not dying in a hospital.

I am sorry for what y'all are going through but let me just say that I have MUCH admiration for you and your family allowing and supporting her making her own choice. You are ALL in my prayers.

 

[caliberbob]

Update on Mom . . . she goes for her 6th treatment this week. Based on what her doctor has said the treatment is working and numbers are coming down. She did lose her hair, but is in pretty good spirits and seems to be doing well.

I’m so sorry to hear this man. I read this and choked up admittedly. I’ve lost two uncles and two dear older friends from my old church just this year. I’m praying for a peace that passes all understanding. Hang in there. Don’t close off. PM or text guys you know just to stay engaged. Hang in there man.

 

[CHenry]

Not your same situation but my dad was in a skilled nursing home with some level of dementia. One day the nurse called me, and this was after dad had been there for 11 months and said he had stopped eating and drinking so they administered an IV and said he pulled it out of his arm 3 times and asked me what they should do.
It was the hardest thing I ever said but I told her, leave him alone, he is done and hes made his choice. He was dead in a week. That was during the covid BS and we hadnt been able to visit him the entire time.
His quality of life was crap and he was well enough in his mind to know it and chose his end.
I pray for your remorse that it coming. But know that they walk with God as soon as that day comes.

 

[BobbyV]

Not your same situation but my dad was in a skilled nursing home with some level of dementia. One day the nurse called me, and this was after dad had been there for 11 months and said he had stopped eating and drinking so they administered an IV and said he pulled it out of his arm 3 times and asked me what they should do.
It was the hardest thing I ever said but I told her, leave him alone, he is done and hes made his choice. He was dead in a week. That was during the covid BS and we hadnt been able to visit him the entire time.
His quality of life was crap and he was well enough in his mind to know it and chose his end.
I pray for your remorse that it coming. But know that they walk with God as soon as that day comes.

One of my uncles is going through something similar right now. It's actually pretty weird. Both he and my mom (they're siblings) were in the Oklahoma Heart Hospital around the same time 10 or so years ago getting various heart procedures done and now they're both dealing with end of life health issues.

 

[THAT Gurl]

Not your same situation but my dad was in a skilled nursing home with some level of dementia. One day the nurse called me, and this was after dad had been there for 11 months and said he had stopped eating and drinking so they administered an IV and said he pulled it out of his arm 3 times and asked me what they should do.
It was the hardest thing I ever said but I told her, leave him alone, he is done and hes made his choice. He was dead in a week. That was during the covid BS and we hadnt been able to visit him the entire time.
His quality of life was crap and he was well enough in his mind to know it and chose his end.
I pray for your remorse that it coming. But know that they walk with God as soon as that day comes.

I have to say -- not to derail Bobby's thread -- there are a couple of hospice nurses I follow on YT and their stance is that once a person makes up their mind, for whatever reason, that it is time, the kindest and gentlest thing a family can do respect their wishes and simply make them comfortable and let them know they are loved and will be missed.

Apparently once their mind is made up there is a phase called "active dying". They used to think keeping a person hydrated was the gentlest thing to do but apparently that is not the case and it IS better to let the person's body does what a body does when passing on.

So ... What you did for your dad was literally the kindest thing any son could have done for his father. You should take great comfort in that.

As should Bobby for what he is doing for his mom.

I know my family situation isn't the norm but I do know I mourned the loss of my parents WAY before they passed. It's just unfortunate they couldn't ever see the forest for the trees.

 

[oksportsman]

First - prayers for your Mom and your family.

Second - hospice care is a God thing. My Mom was under hospice care for an extended period and her hospice nurses were angels on earth many times over.

 

[BobbyV]

it IS better to let the person's body does what a body does when passing on.

This is what my mom's nurse told dad. She said he can't think like she's coming out of this and check on her to make sure she's eating or asking if she needs something. He just needs to let her be and keep her on her meds. Her body is dying and she just needs to be kept as comfortable as possible for now until she's gone. There's nothing else that can be done at this point other than pain management.

 

[leemozoid]

I have to say -- not to derail Bobby's thread -- there are a couple of hospice nurses I follow on YT and their stance is that once a person makes up their mind, for whatever reason, that it is time, the kindest and gentlest thing a family can do respect their wishes and simply make them comfortable and let them know they are loved and will be missed.

Apparently once their mind is made up there is a phase called "active dying". They used to think keeping a person hydrated was the gentlest thing to do but apparently that is not the case and it IS better to let the person's body does what a body does when passing on.

So ... What you did for your dad was literally the kindest thing any son could have done for his father. You should take great comfort in that.

As should Bobby for what he is doing for his mom.

I know my family situation isn't the norm but I do know I mourned the loss of my parents WAY before they passed. It's just unfortunate they couldn't ever see the forest for the trees.

We gave mom sponge soaked lozenges to suck on, even after she transitioned to the semi-comatose phase. We could tell she responded by the way her lips closed on them when offered. They say hearing is the last of the senses to go so it's important to reaffirm the choice to pass by letting them know it's ok to let go and that everyone will be ok. Positive affirmation of their choice will remove any unconscious tethers and aid in the passing. We told mom to look for dad and when she saw him to go to him and dance to "their" song (Blue Moon). I even played it on my phone next to her ear. I like to think it helped.