Best excuses you have heard for missing work

[ARnut]

I had an employee this past Tuesday tell me he missed work Monday because his legs were cramping..... From playing dance dance revolution at game stop all day Sunday. I couldn't help but laugh at that one.


What are some of the best ones you have all heard?

 

[tRidiot]

I've heard all kinds of stupid ******** ones. Of course, I'm the one people are asking to write their note. I gotta tell you, most of these folks should be effing ashamed. I work my ass off, I don't get any sick time and if I don't work, I don't get paid. Not to mention, getting someone to cover my spot is a frigging NIGHTMARE. I haven't missed a day of work in... I dunno over 5 years for sure.

 

[RidgeHunter]

Not a weird excuse but my friend was telling me a guy that works for his company called in sick to work. The night before he had posted a picture of a pyramid of empty beer cans in his garage on Facebook with the caption being something about 'when an old buddy comes to town'. He was friends with his boss on Facebook. The multiple layers of stupidity there really makes you wonder - he probably wasn't even the dumb kid in the family. As long as you have a steady hand and can count to 32 - you too can have a career in the fabrication industry.

I've heard all kinds of stupid ******** ones. Of course, I'm the one people are asking to write their note. I gotta tell you, most of these folks should be effing ashamed. I work my ass off, I don't get any sick time and if I don't work, I don't get paid. Not to mention, getting someone to cover my spot is a frigging NIGHTMARE. I haven't missed a day of work in... I dunno over 5 years for sure.

I don't think I've missed a full day of work for being sick in the 11 years I've worked for myself. Partial days here and there. If I'm skipping out it's for something important - like hunting.

 

[dennishoddy]

getting down on your knees in the snow, sending a pic and telling your employer that its too deep to get out of the driveway.
Fellow employee that lives down the street made it to work driving past OP's driveway. Busted!

 

[dennishoddy]

Not a weird excuse but my friend was telling me a guy that works for his company called in sick to work. The night before he had posted a picture of a pyramid of empty beer cans in his garage on Facebook with the caption being something about 'when an old buddy comes to town'. He was friends with his boss on Facebook. The multiple layers of stupidity there really makes you wonder - he probably wasn't even the dumb kid in the family.

Falsebook has busted many criminals and stupid people in their desire to be famous with their self thought postings. lol.

 

[tRidiot]

Yeah, we have some that call in very regularly, when they were posting FB antics the night before. But... nothing is ever done. Just makes hard feelings amongst the staff.

 

[RidgeHunter]

What kind a pusssy can't work with a hangover? Jesus, we use to make men in this country.

I've worked 9+hrs in 100 degree heat with the brown bottle flu many a time. Character building atonement for one's own stupidity.

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

I know a guy that called in drunk on his last day of work.

 

[LightningCrash]

I'm sure they tell me from time to time, but honestly I kind of tune out once they say they won't be in for work.

"I won't be in today, I'm not feeling well. I have a temperature of blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah"
"OK, get better soon."

I can count on these guys to work 3 days straight when SHTF so I don't worry about a sick day here or there. You've got strep? Good, stay home, check your email. CJ has a kid in the hospital I'm sure he would appreciate not tracking that **** into the cancer ward.

 

[aviator41]

I've been out sick most of last week and all weekend. I rarely take sick days. It just makes more sense for me to work for my pay. I was finally told to go home by my boss. when the coughing and horse voice made it impossible to do my job Two days later the ER had the privilege of discovering a raging duodenum infection and fast spreading pneumonia. I was so dehydrated there was no way to come back without help from the fancy drippy-bags (units of fluid) and some high-powered antibiotics. I was scolded for not getting seen sooner.

Still not sure where the pneumonia came from. I think the stomach mess is from a recently discovered ulcer. I've not had a voice since Tuesday. I sound like Gollum right now. Sucks because the yard isn't getting mowed, se septic aerator parts sitting on my counter aren't being installed, trim sensors or the boat aren't being installed and the sea pump on thee boat is not being installed. I am gonna have a LOT of work to do when I am finally well enough.