Gentleman over 40

[761mph]

i've had this discussion with myself on numerous occasions over the last 27 yrs.

first off i would have joined the marines after HS, i would've probably died in Beirut in the early 80s, but my be not could have put my 20~25 in got out and spent the rest of my life telling stories
second.......would have NEVER gotten married at 22, spent the next 11 yrs arguing and fighting with family, friends, total strangers about stuff that was none of their business
third.......never pull a running motor out of your muscle car to finish off a better motor. above said wife will start **** that will distract you to the point of letting the car sit for 30 yrs because your health will deteriorate just like the car does

rules i go out of my way to abide by
#1 .......never mess with a man'a car, or( woman< addendum after the fact)
#2........never go in debt to impress somebody
#3.......never get involved with the sister of a friend (eventually you'll break up and good chances are you'll lose your friend also)
#4......only loan money you can carry in your pocket(if you have to write a check or go to the bank it ain't worth the effort) because you'll never see it again
#5......always stay friends with your friends, the women in your life will never be permanent (at least my life)

 

[Capm_Spaulding]

Some very deep and insightful responses. I appreciate everyones time and wisdom, no one hands you a manual on life so I'm trying to learn as much as I can before preceding with what I think is the right way to lead my life. I see a lot of family, friends, etc. with a lot of regret so I am trying to learn by proxy to avoid a lot of that myself.

 

[Capm_Spaulding]

Ok, my lad, you asked for it. Here is Uncle JB's formula for success. Despite some business set backs and dealing with more than my fair share of sh***y people, I've done extremely well and been fairly happy through all of it. Can't guarantee it will work for you, but it sure has worked for me (and a couple of friends who actually listened and tried it.)




1. Don't worry about what anybody thinks of you. They aren't paying your bills, and usually most negativity is based in jealousy. For the most part, these people are extremely unhappy with their lives, no matter how they try to portray themselves. They just don't matter.

2. Don't be too nice, or too giving. If you do, don't expect others to be honorable. They won't be. Mostly people will use and screw you over. I've done some serious favors for people, and they have turned out to be total scum.

3. Don't spend too much time thinking about, and judging, other people, even the scum mentioned above. They are not worthy of your thoughts and energy.

4. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Don't waste time trying to change people, or change your behavior to accommodate them. People rarely change their inherent nature. Don't waste your time.

5. Avoid people who engage in unnecessary drama. Just avoid them. They are psychic vampires. Doesn't matter if they are friends, family, romantic interests, co-workers, or forum members (ha ha), just AVOID them. They add nothing but misery and inconvenience to your life.

6. Make some long term investments as a young person. You have time on your side. I made a lot deal of money from the ages of 21-23. I pissed it all away on cars, clothes, and women. Had I invested just a bit, I'd be in an even better position today.

7. Get a hobby you enjoy that can also be a little profitable. I have a friend with a gun collection worth $2 mil +. He just started collecting in college. Was very strict about condition, etc., and now has a major asset. Also, know a guy who deals in graded coins. He started off as a kid, and now does VERY well.

8. If you are not married yet, take your time and find a friend and a partner. Find someone who is down to earth and shares your values, but is different enough from you to see people and circumstances from another perspective. My wife is my greatest treasure. She has been absolutely critical to our success. (and she's really hot, so that's a bonus)

9. Have some goals and plans on how to reach them. You may completely change them at some point. However, this allows you to measure your progress, and helps you on the blah days.

10. Enjoy your life. Even the bad times. They strengthen you. The bitter makes the sweet all the better.

11. Realize that EVERYONE is afraid and insecure on some level. The more they deny it, the greater their fear.

12. Fear is a part of life. You will be afraid about relationships, finances, health, etc. It's just part of being human. Manage that fear and turn it into something constructive.

As for doing it differently, I'd have been much less nice.

I am definitely appreciative of this, it makes a lot of sense.

 

[Jwryan84]

So far biggest moral of the story of life is pick the right woman. I'm damn lucky and thank her each time I read about a crazy 1st, 2nd, or 3rd wife...

 

[EhlerDave]

So far biggest moral of the story of life is pick the right woman. I'm damn lucky and thank her each time I read about a crazy 1st, 2nd, or 3rd wife...

If not for meeting my wife I would be dead or in prison.

 

[Dale00]

The book of Proverbs contains wisdom on this topic

 

[Mos Eisley]

I'm not exactly sure what exactly the OP is looking for.

This might possibly be helpful

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying

My favorite line in that is this: "Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

 

[CHenry]

I would have dated fewer crazy women, and I would have had children, before I was out of my 30's. As it stands, I never had any, but I raised a great step-son.

Exactly my situation...

 

[surjimmy]

Not too many things I would not change.

 

[andrsnsm]

Do whatever is best for your family even if it means not doing what is best for your career, PERIOD. Careers are nice it families are forever.