A highway patrolman parked off-road to the side of a road bridge clocks a speeder doing 90mph in a 70mph zone.
Upon pulling the driver over, the patrolman notices that the car is at least 10 years old, hasn’t been cleaned inside in all that time and the gentleman driving is shabbily dressed.
The patrolman approaches the car and begins a dialogue with the driver.
Patrolman: “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?”
Driver: “No idea officer; how may I help you?”
As this is an obvious speeding infraction, the trooper begins to get annoyed.
PM: “You were speeding across that bridge and I caught you doing it”
Driver: “If you say so.”
PM: “The normal procedure is for me to write you a $50 ticket for speeding. If I were to issue that ticket, would you even be able to pay it?”
The patrolman is reflecting on his observation of the car and of the driver, concluding that the driver does not appear ostensibly well off.
Driver: “I happened to be a well paid professional person, of course I can afford a ticket”
PM: “ Would you mind telling me what it is that you do for a living?”
Driver: “I am a Rectal Expansion Technician.”
PM: “Whatever in the world is that?”
Driver: “Well, I charge a fee for the progressive expansion of an individual’s rectum.”
PM: “How, exactly?”
Driver: “We start by inserting a small grommet slightly larger in diameter than the person’s rectum. Then over the course of the year we switch out that grommet for a bigger one each time until the rectum reaches 6 feet in diameter.”
PM: “What would anyone do with a 6-foot *******?”
Driver: “Give him a radar gun and tell him to park at the end of a bridge!”
Upon pulling the driver over, the patrolman notices that the car is at least 10 years old, hasn’t been cleaned inside in all that time and the gentleman driving is shabbily dressed.
The patrolman approaches the car and begins a dialogue with the driver.
Patrolman: “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?”
Driver: “No idea officer; how may I help you?”
As this is an obvious speeding infraction, the trooper begins to get annoyed.
PM: “You were speeding across that bridge and I caught you doing it”
Driver: “If you say so.”
PM: “The normal procedure is for me to write you a $50 ticket for speeding. If I were to issue that ticket, would you even be able to pay it?”
The patrolman is reflecting on his observation of the car and of the driver, concluding that the driver does not appear ostensibly well off.
Driver: “I happened to be a well paid professional person, of course I can afford a ticket”
PM: “ Would you mind telling me what it is that you do for a living?”
Driver: “I am a Rectal Expansion Technician.”
PM: “Whatever in the world is that?”
Driver: “Well, I charge a fee for the progressive expansion of an individual’s rectum.”
PM: “How, exactly?”
Driver: “We start by inserting a small grommet slightly larger in diameter than the person’s rectum. Then over the course of the year we switch out that grommet for a bigger one each time until the rectum reaches 6 feet in diameter.”
PM: “What would anyone do with a 6-foot *******?”
Driver: “Give him a radar gun and tell him to park at the end of a bridge!”
Thanks for the laughs.
