old timer sayings

[THE JOKER]

Shining like a diamond in a goat’s ass
One legged man at an ass kicking contest
You don’t know **** from shinola

 

[undeg01]

Busier than a one armed paper hanger.
Like a cat covering $#!+

 

[Chief Sapulpa]

That boy could F up a ball bearing

…or an iron ball.

 

[Gunbuffer]

It’ll feel good
Once it stops
Hurting

 

[Chief Sapulpa]

Couldn’t manage a whore house with the fleet in.

 

[ifishok]

“That dog is so ugly, you should shave its @55 and teach him to walk backwards”!

 

[SoonerP226]

That boy could F up a ball bearing

the way I heard that one is “that boy could eff up an anvil with a rubber hammer.“

 

[SoonerP226]

Busier than a one-armed paper hanger in a wind storm.
Busier than a cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen lake.

 

[HoLeChit]

My Dad:

(Referring to my smashed finger)
“You think that hurts? Let’s just cut it off then“

(In reference to being angry)
“It’s better to be pissed off, than pissed on”

(in reference to my intelligence)
“You must be (effin) stupid”

My best friend growing up’s dad, and big role model:

(Referring to bringing up difficult conversations, whether it be with a girl or a friend)
“It’s better to sh(a)t your pants than to die of constipation”

 

[Cowcatcher]

Boy, what you don’t tear up you **** on