Question for you lawyers - evicting a 20yr old

[TerryMiller]

My wife and I don’t inconvenience ourselves to train kids. I will not ever do without things in an attempt to train kids. We never childproofed cabinets and such when they were little for example. They were taught that my wife and I controlled those areas. We’ve had people come to our house with their little kids and actually try to put the blame on us for their kids getting into crap. When we went to these peoples house they had everything that could be opened modified or tied shut in someway. Lmao. That is counter productive. Teach the kids that what’s yours is yours and what’s theirs is theirs before they can talk. It’s easy. When they mess up, hit em where it hurts. For example, ice cream is an after dinner luxury around here. My oldest who is now 14 was about 5 and did something that was wrong. We ate dinner that night and were all looking forward to ice cream. Then, I informed her she wouldn’t be enjoying ice cream and not only that but she would sit there and watch how much I would enjoy eating ice cream. Haven’t needed to get after her since. It’s a mental thing. You gotta get in their mind. I learned this stuff dealing with animals. Gotta start em young. Middle daughter is almost 11. When she was about 3 she was pretty rude to her big sister often. We lived in a 1-1/2 story home at the time and never used the upstairs cuz we had tons of room downstairs and the upstairs had no heat/air or bathroom. It was just 3 empty rooms. One day I’d had enough of her rude behavior and told her that such a thing wasn’t welcome in our family and she was to move to the upstairs part of the house. It hurt her feelings and it hurt mine too but after she lived up there for a few hours she must’ve thought about things cuz she’s very polite nowadays. Sending her to her own room wouldn’t have made such an impact. Her room offered comforts. I believe those two being started on the right path is what has helped shape our 3rd daughter who is soon to be 5. Older siblings shape children as much or possibly more than parents. I don’t care how easy your horse is to catch, you turn him out with horses that are hard to catch and your wonderful catching horse will learn the habits of the others.

Well done, Sir.

When I was managing a "national retail electronics store" in OKC, a customer came in with his little son. Son acted up some and dad said that they fought with the kid over tantrums that he would throw when he wanted something.

I jokingly said, "Well, next time he does that, lie down on the floor beside him and throw your own tantrum."

A month or two later, they came in again. Dad told me that he did just as I suggested one day, and the kid got up from the floor and walked around the end of a row of merchandise to get away from Dad. He told me that the kid hadn't thrown another tantrum since then.

 

[MacFromOK]

Lots of good advice if he was 2, but he's 20. His Dad passed away several years ago.

I left home at 18, married Sweetie, and moved into our current home at 19 (in '76). Things just ain't like they used to be.

Guess we'll see how things turn out.

 

[okie362]

I learned that when the children come to the realization that you will bust their butts...You no longer need to.

 

[Cowcatcher]

Lots of good advice if he was 2, but he's 20. His Dad passed away several years ago.

I left home at 18, married Sweetie, and moved into our current home at 19 (in '76). Things just ain't like they used to be.

Guess we'll see how things turn out.

The info I’ve thrown out was more of a how not to put yourself in her position type of info. It doesn’t necessarily help her situation she’s created but it might help some see what’s going on.

I agree with ya Mac that things ain’t like they used to be. Parenting habits changed.

 

[John6185]

May 13, 2009 · In the 1960s, when the first generation "brought up on Spock" turned into draft dodging, free loving hippies, questions began to surface about the celebrated baby doctor. Shortly before his death, Benjamin Spock apologized and said he had been wrong; his theories about raising children had been hypotheses that did not bear out.

 

[TerryMiller]

May 13, 2009 · In the 1960s, when the first generation "brought up on Spock" turned into draft dodging, free loving hippies, questions began to surface about the celebrated baby doctor. Shortly before his death, Benjamin Spock apologized and said he had been wrong; his theories about raising children had been hypotheses that did not bear out.

This needs a BAZILLION likes!!!!

Thank God that my Mother never read Spock.

 

[NightShade]

Remove his door and take it to your place. If he is 20 I can bet he likes private time. Same goes for the bathroom. It may be a bit of an inconvenience for everyone in the house but basically eliminate all his private area's. It won't take long till he doesn't want to be there. Opening up the breaker box and removing the breaker that powers his room would be another one. If he starts getting drop cords remove them as they are a fire hazard. Put a lock on the breaker box and when leaving flip all but a couple that power a few lights off. Works really good if you have an all electric home, no stove, no washer, no dryer, no hot water unless you are home. Power the fridge and a few lights and nothing else.

I read that things are going better now but I am sure that it will come back around and some of these will work well for unruly children otherwise too.

 

[John6185]

Dang Nightshade, you are one mean machine! I'm proud of you! We've already hired a wicked motorcycle group to put he fear of God in him, shut off internet services, telephone services, stopped the food supply, called the Sheriff, put locks on everything, kicked his backside and now we're gonna shut of the electricity! It won't be long before the boy gets the idea he may not be welcome in that particular house.