Cliches and expressions your family uses

[VIKING]

About as hard as shoving a wet noodle up a wild cat's a$$.

 

[VIKING]

Too poor to pay attention.

So dumb his feet stink.

If you're looking for sympathy you can find it in the dictionary right between syphilis and ****.

 

[bubbaturbo]

I hear a lot of cluckin' but I don't see no eggs.

Like pulling a cat off a screen door.

 

[angsniper]

Nervous as a whore in church.

Shaking like a dog sh*tting peach seeds.

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

I'm ****ing this chicken, you just hold it's head.

Grab a root and growl.

A few cards short of a full deck.

Busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Don't make me get the belt.

 

[murphy j]

Go ahead, keep f@ckin' with me and we'll both get off.(mine)

He's so tight with his money, you could shove a lump of coal up his @ss and get back a diamond.(various family members)

You're so hard headed you'd argue with a brick wall.(Dad)

Like a bull in a china shop.(Dad and Mom)


I'll think of more later

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

oh yeah, one more.

Son, leave those sheep alone.

 

[JB Books]

He pinches a penny so tight you can hear Abe Lincoln moan.

Hit with the ugly stick.

Split tailed gals (usually referring to my high school girl friends)

Dirty legged gals (usually referring to my college girlfriends)

Soiled dove (my granny's reference to my crazy blonde ex girlfriend)

Don't be anyone's dog that will hunt with you.

One of my Grampa's favorites (and mine too): To have a friend, you have to be a friend.

 

[Okiedog]

Just like a catfish.............All mouth and no brains.

 

[been]

Tough Titty Said the Kitty When the Milk Went Dry

My friends grandpa says "iv seen better heads on a nickle root beer" and "theres more apes here than a Tarzan movie"