Oklahoma Divorce Rate

[WhiteyMacD]

But isn't that sort of our deal? Just because you go to church doesn't mean you can live a life without sin, immorality, or bad choices. And for all that mess, what is to be said about other states with lesser divorce rates and lower religious affiliations or church attendance?

I'm no expert. Never been divorced. But what I would be more prompt to attribute it to is:
A.) Laziness
2.) Lack of Determination
C.) Unwillingness to reconcile

And really, those 3 are all the same thing if you think about it.

I'm not saying the person who files is guilty either. A person who cheats on their spouse, or allows fiscally oriented stress to manifest as a relationship problem are guilty.

Sorry, but I don't buy the whole "Well they just aren't good Christians" bit. In my journey of faith, I have had almost daily bouts of doubt and struggle, and I consider myself a pretty good Christian. I have even had family issues, while not directly between my wife and I (more between me and her family), while my religious identity might account for a small percent of why I never have even thought about divorce, it has more to do, with me, with my determination to not give up and work as a team to try to resolve issues we have. Too many people think marriage is just going to be a breeze. You will be, forever, in that honeymoon phase where you feel like 2 teenagers who just kissed for the first time. The truth is, marriage is work. Constant compromise. Constant mutual effort.

 

[CHenry]

But isn't that sort of our deal? Just because you go to church doesn't mean you can live a life without sin, immorality, or bad choices. And for all that mess, what is to be said about other states with lesser divorce rates and lower religious affiliations or church attendance?

I'm no expert. Never been divorced. But what I would be more prompt to attribute it to is:
A.) Laziness
2.) Lack of Determination
C.) Unwillingness to reconcile

And really, those 3 are all the same thing if you think about it.

I'm not saying the person who files is guilty either. A person who cheats on their spouse, or allows fiscally oriented stress to manifest as a relationship problem are guilty.

Sorry, but I don't buy the whole "Well they just aren't good Christians" bit. In my journey of faith, I have had almost daily bouts of doubt and struggle, and I consider myself a pretty good Christian. I have even had family issues, while not directly between my wife and I (more between me and her family), while my religious identity might account for a small percent of why I never have even thought about divorce, it has more to do, with me, with my determination to not give up and work as a team to try to resolve issues we have. Too many people think marriage is just going to be a breeze. You will be, forever, in that honeymoon phase where you feel like 2 teenagers who just kissed for the first time. The truth is, marriage is work. Constant compromise. Constant mutual effort.

This is my thinking also...my wife doesn't see it that way apparently.

 

[WhiteyMacD]

This is my thinking also...my wife doesn't see it that way apparently.

Yeah, and that sucks, Clay. I feel really bad for you. I'd be pretty damned pissed if I committed even 1 year to someone who suddenly thought it wasnt worth it. Hopefully she gets her head screwed on straight and snaps it in to shape. I'll be praying for it, buddy.

 

[CHenry]

Yeah, and that sucks, Clay. I feel really bad for you. I'd be pretty damned pissed if I committed even 1 year to someone who suddenly thought it wasnt worth it. Hopefully she gets her head screwed on straight and snaps it in to shape. I'll be praying for it, buddy.

I dont get pissed about it, I want to work on whatever the issues are and she cant even tell me what that is. I'm sure its something little that has festered in her for awhile because shes a poor communicator and I'm constantly trying to get her to overcome that. Without communication, it will not work no matter if its a marriage, friendship, work...etc. We have seen a counselor in the past and he basically told her straight up that she has to talk to me when something is wrong. I thought she got it...

 

[WFT]

People here care too much about what others think of them. There is a social pressure created, in large part, by the religious fundamentalism that pervades daily life in Oklahoma. One has to wonder why a state with a church "on every corner" has such a high divorce rate, high rate of child abuse (including child sexual abuse) and such high rates of meth and prescription drug abuse.

I think Matthew 7:21 is appropriate:

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall
enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth
the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Well I certainly have to agree with the scripture JB, but we have to remember "were all a work in progress"

 

[Lurker66]

Asking a gun forum to answer a sociology question?

Don't worry, I'm sure someone who's not a sociologist will be along soon to dazzle us with their hyperbole and blame.

im all out of dazzle dust today so i'll remain silent on the topic.

 

[gillman7]

I think money is the number one issue. I also tend to think if it's a familial habit to get divorced at the first sign of trouble, that gets carried on to the next generation.

Sadly, it does become the first response, and I do think it is because of what they have grown up with, or see in society around them. I would be interested in finding out if it is significantly higher per capita in Metro vs Rural areas.

People here care too much about what others think of them. There is a social pressure created, in large part, by the religious fundamentalism that pervades daily life in Oklahoma. One has to wonder why a state with a church "on every corner" has such a high divorce rate, high rate of child abuse (including child sexual abuse) and such high rates of meth and prescription drug abuse.

I think Matthew 7:21 is appropriate:

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall
enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth
the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Sorry, but I don't buy the whole "Well they just aren't good Christians" bit. In my journey of faith, I have had almost daily bouts of doubt and struggle, and I consider myself a pretty good Christian. I have even had family issues, while not directly between my wife and I (more between me and her family), while my religious identity might account for a small percent of why I never have even thought about divorce, it has more to do, with me, with my determination to not give up and work as a team to try to resolve issues we have. Too many people think marriage is just going to be a breeze. You will be, forever, in that honeymoon phase where you feel like 2 teenagers who just kissed for the first time. The truth is, marriage is work. Constant compromise. Constant mutual effort.

When people realize that Religion is not Christianity it would be a huge step in the right direction. I think Christ would be appalled to see what is being done in churches in his name. If I remember right, the main group he despised was the church/religious group.

 

[65ny]

Biches be crazy!!!!

I blame Bush....or lack thereof.

OMG...this cracked me up.

 

[Glocktogo]

I thought marriage was the leading cause of divorce?

 

[ripnbst]

It is surprising to me that OK has a disproportionaly large number of religious followers yet also lingers among the states that have the highest divorce rate.

I saw on TV once a guy had his wife "re-tightened" to re-kindle their magic. No idea if it worked or not but any guy who can convince his wife to do that ought to have no trouble keeping the marriage together.