My mom loved to take us kids on long drives in the country, but I always seemed to find my way back.
We have issues. Lots and lots of issues.I'm gonna need a PM, sir!! The suspense is KILLING me!! (I swear EVERY SINGLE TIME I go do something that even remotely resembles having a life you guys do this. Argh!!)
I think we need Dr. Phil.
Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide."
[Rodney Dangerfield]
One day my mom was going to teach me how to swim. She finally gave up when ropes around my hands and feet kept coming loose.
I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
[Rodney Dangerfield]
[Rodney Dangerfield]
I was kidnapped as a child and the kidnappers offered my mom $100.00 to take me back. She wanted 300
"I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up."
[Rodney Dangerfield]
[Rodney Dangerfield]
I was such and ugly kid, I was voted most unlikely.
"I'm so ugly. My father carries around a picture of the kid that came with his wallet."
[Rodney Dangerfield]
[Rodney Dangerfield]
My mom kept getting me mixed up with the family dog and apologized to the dog.
