Opposite Sex Friends in the Bible Belt

[spamby]

Been friends with with a couple since grade school. They got married right after high school. I was suppost to be the best man but I was deployed. There first child, I am her god father. When ever I came home on leave I would hangout with both and when my buddy had to got to work then I would hangout with her. Never thought about her in a sexual way, he's never worried about her being unfaithful. I would take a bullet or give up a kidney for either one of them. I count both as best friends.

Sent from rotary phone.

 

[turkeyrun]

Friends is friends, I don't see a problem or how it concerns anybody not involved.

 

[nofearfactor]

Different strokes for different folks looks like here. Me and the wife both have very good friends of the opposite sex, even a few 'besties or bff's, some that we have had since before we got together and we're still together after more than 10 years- only difference is her friends are mostly from church and work and people she grew up with here and mine are from the bands I work with, the tattoo shops we own, the bars I own, friends I grew up with in California, etc. We communicate well. Shes not any more jealous than I am, we're just neither one of us those types of people. We established ground rules and communication rules from day one while still dating and I dont have to worry about any of it, never have with any other woman either.

 

[RidgeHunter]

Been friends with with a couple since grade school. They got married right after high school. I was suppost to be the best man but I was deployed. There first child, I am her god father. When ever I came home on leave I would hangout with both and when my buddy had to got to work then I would hangout with her. Never thought about her in a sexual way, he's never worried about her being unfaithful. I would take a bullet or give up a kidney for either one of them. I count both as best friends.

Sent from rotary phone.

NO!!!

Even though you are the 6th or 7th mature grown man in this thread to share my views and have similar friendships IT RUINS YOU'RE LIFE AND WE ARE ALL IDIOTS. My parents too. Not to mention many other people I know.

I mean, I look at my parents healthy 30-year marriage and find it funny people with admitted divorce/affair issues would tell them what they are doing wrong. Not to talk down on those people, but ya know, it is tempting because they have *zero* problem talking down to us. No hesitation whatsoever.

Interesting thread. People misunderstod it, tho. I wasn't asking for advice. I was asking for other people's views on this, and asking why people feel the need to stick their Peyton Place noses in other people's business and why grown men can't put their high-pitched incredulous voices away just because other people have different friendships than them. A few reasonable guys came in here with the "whatever works for you" attitude, but the vocal ones may as well be holding a bible in one hand and a snake in the other, preaching to us about THE PATH ON WHICH WE WALLLKKK!

Enjoy your fake friends and 2 ruined marriages to come, Spamby. The tribe had spoken. It will be so.

No really, go hug your friends and keep being good people. I will be in my chick friends wedding if she settles down. Hell, I will have probably introdced them.

My couple friends have been together for years. We trust each other with everything. The dude is my best, oldest friend. Met him because I was born 6 days after him in a small town. They wanted to take pics of the town babies. Him, his fiance, and my chick buddy are my only 3' "real" friends besides my girlfriend. They all have keys to my my house. We would do and have done anything we could for each other. The couple has a really conservative relationship - way more so than I - but their thought is if they couldn't trust each other and they can't trustme, we wouldn't be this close and they wouldn't be getting married. If I thought for a minute he couldn't trust her, I'd be the one standing up at the wedding. I've zero times had sexual thoughts about my friend's woman. ****. Some women are off limits. No biggie. There are plenty of others. Like I said, sounds like some of these guys would be on their hot half sister like flies on stink. The very thought of betraying 2 of my only friends makes my skin crawl as much as the thought of banging my half sister. Gross. Self control is not that hard. Women, drugs and guns are all awesome, but if you can't not ruin your life with them...maybe it's you. If you can't drink without going on a bender, that doesn't mean everyone with a glass of wine at dinner is about to hit the skids. It means YOU can't drink.

 

[Blinocac200sx]

I have some female friends that I hang out with. For some reason, I tend to make friends with women fairly easily. Anyway, I always tell my wife when I'm hanging out with another woman, and she doesn't have a problem with it because she knows I'm a faithful kinda dude. And the women I hang out with know that in some parallel universe I would love to hop into the sack with them, but I won't in this one because I am committed to my loving awesome wife.

 

[RidgeHunter]

I mean, I can't water ski. I've tried. It's not for me. But I don't hang out at the boat ramp and yell "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE KNOW ONE CAN DO IT YOU IDIOT I KNOW I'VE TRIED AND FAILED AND SEEN OTHERS FAIL TOO" at strangers.

These people are VOCAL about this. They owe the world their sage advice, and by god they will put in in your ear against your will.

I think people have a natural instinct (since we are so big on those in this thread) to resent anyone who makes a go at something they can't or won't do. If your restaraunt goes broke, and someone else tries to open a similar one in town, of course you want to say "that style restaraunt doesn't work here" even though it my just be *your* restaraunt that doesn't work.

Interseting opinions. I respect all of them, especially people like rhodesbe etc who explained themselves more than they attacked people like us. Not for you? Great. Just stop acting like old women at the beauty parlor. Just because it's not for you doesn't mean it's not for everyone, and it damn sure doesn't mean your shocked looks and your preachin' are more welcome than a turd in the punch bowl.

 

[caojyn]

I don't think I could ever be friends with a girl... Ewww

 

[aviator41]

NO!!!

Even though you are the 6th or 7th mature grown man in this thread to share my views and have similar friendships IT RUINS YOU'RE LIFE AND WE ARE ALL IDIOTS. My parents too. Not to mention many other people I know.

I mean, I look at my parents healthy 30-year marriage and find it funny people with admitted divorce/affair issues would tell them what they are doing wrong. Not to talk down on those people, but ya know, it is tempting because they have *zero* problem talking down to us. No hesitation whatsoever.

Interesting thread. People misunderstod it, tho. I wasn't asking for advice. I was asking for other people's views on this, and asking why people feel the need to stick their Peyton Place noses in other people's business and why grown men can't put their high-pitched incredulous voices away just because other people have different friendships than them. A few reasonable guys came in here with the "whatever works for you" attitude, but the vocal ones may as well be holding a bible in one hand and a snake in the other, preaching to us about THE PATH ON WHICH WE WALLLKKK!

Enjoy your fake friends and 3 ruined marriages, Spamby. The tribe had spoken. It will be so.

Real Mature. Sorry that the majority of people feel like what you're doing either isn't right or is moving you towards disaster. Fact is those that can pull it off (like your parents) are the exception to the rule. the RARE exception to the rule. Use that as a basis for substantiating your actions carries little water with those you're trying to substantiate it to for reason. "I don't care what people think, screw all of ya!" I hear you say. Okay - then why did you post this on a public forum?

hmm.....

 

[RidgeHunter]

Real Mature. Sorry that the majority of people feel like what you're doing either isn't right or is moving you towards disaster. Fact is those that can pull it off (like your parents) are the exception to the rule. the RARE exception to the rule. Use that as a basis for substantiating your actions carries little water with those you're trying to substantiate it to for reason. "I don't care what people think, screw all of ya!" I hear you say. Okay - then why did you post this on a public forum?

hmm.....

I just explained why I posted it. I wanted posts like rhodesbes, etc. And unless you have statistics I'm not aware of, how do you know it's rare? I know a ton of people who have similar friendships. From young athiests to VERY religious conservatives in their 60s. There are what, 10 good, long time OSArs here saying it works for them?

People are very confident in their RARE assertion. I don't think they are looking very far outside their own life experiences. It's a big world. Not everyone lives like you.

 

[RidgeHunter]

For me, it's about respect.

I respect my wife, and I respect my buddies. I'm not very prude at all, and really blunt, so it's not about avoiding an issue by being passive-aggressive. It's about avoiding a tarpit.

I want wife to know that she's the only female I pal around with. And my buddies know I'm not going to be mr sexy to their ladies when they are gone. It's not weird, it's polite.

I have no issue being around females (ie: buying a gift for a friend, planning something, or texting some help) but it better be for a reason other than just killing time or hanging out.

If I'm cutting up and taking it easy with a female that isn't my wife, there are other people involved, mark it down.

Here's a guy who can explain he and his wife's choices withoutvthe sadistic need to go on the attack and Nostradamus disaster in my life.

I respect that. But people like the guy who told my buddy "we aren't real friends" and the people in this thread who clearly know everything...I'm not coddling them.

I don't pretend to know everything. Which is funny, because the people to accuse me of that attitude are usually actively in the process of telling me they know everything when they stop to accuse me if doing it.

I'm also not cocky. I make no claims all my friendships will last, or that the girlfriend an I will never break up. Who knows? Relationships are a calculated risk - like an investment. I put my trust where I feel it belongs. I think I have decent odds, but it could all blow up tomorrow. I never claim otherwise. I make my choices and live with the consequences.

Yeah, I'm defensive and snarky. This thread was made because me and my friends and girlfriend have been insulted by near strangers over this a lot lately.

Ya'll love my threads, huh?