Honest question

[surjimmy]

Yes, I have. Then I thought of the pain I would cause my loved ones if I did. I promise you, you are loved more then you know. Think of the pain out there, and if you do go down that road. Think of the pain you would be adding to the people you care about. We're here just tell us what you need.

 

[NikatKimber]

Been there.

I found hope in God, when all my friends weren't there. I'm not trying to preach, but that's what it took.

There are people now that I trust with my life - my wife, for one - but I know that any human can let me down. God won't.

Find someone to talk to. There is always someone who cares. Just may not be someone you currently know. Reach out here.

Maybe not everyone, but you are CERTAINLY not alone in what you are feeling.

 

[snipes]

In my darkest hours I fight because there are those that didn't get to.
That keeps me going til I get my head back.

 

[kinggabby]

When I was 2 I was burned by a grease fire. I went from oh how cute to OH my Lord look at him in an instant. I grew up with no self esteem. I was thrown into a pit of despair that took 23 years to get out of it. I fought depression for most of my life. I did the best I could to try and cover my scars. I tried the bad comb over to try and cover my scars on my head. I always wore shirts to cover the scars on my chest and back. I wore pants so the scars on my leg were covered. I thought about ending it all. Because I was tired of being picked on. I was tired of every day I went to school I was teased and when I got home I was beat up by my brother or his friends. I sat down one day with the intent on ending it all. I had the method and plenty of time before anyone would have found me. But in that moment of weakness a small but powerful thought came to mind. If I ended it all they win. Everyone who ever called me a bad name or hit me because I Was different would win. That is what saved me that day. After that the fear of going to hell stopped further attempts. Now I know Gods loves me and he will help me when things are bad. What is meant for evil he will work for goodness. No one but you can make the final choice. Even God will not work against your will. But please believe me when I say there are people who care for you. You may not see it through your pain at this moment but there really are. As stated your choice ether way will have a deep impact on peoples lives around you. The greatest thing I could ever do for you is pray for you. I have already lifted you up in prayer to My Father who is in Heaven.

 

[FullAuto]

Not because of a job, love life, where I thought I was at or headed in life, etc.

I have considered it due to physical pain. After being told by a doctor there is no reason I should be in pain and there would be nothing he could do for me, I knew I would not continue on and die of old age physically feeling like I was at only 33. The mental anxiety associated with knowing that amount of pain would always be there or get worse, was taking it's toll. A second opinion (and surgery) I feel saved my life.

So I personally could understand it more if a person had an actual permanent problem as opposed to a preceived permanent problem.

 

[dennishoddy]

When I was 2 I was burned by a grease fire. I went from oh how cute to OH my Lord look at him in an instant. I grew up with no self esteem. I was thrown into a pit of despair that took 23 years to get out of it. I fought depression for most of my life. I did the best I could to try and cover my scars. I tried the bad comb over to try and cover my scars on my head. I always wore shirts to cover the scars on my chest and back. I wore pants so the scars on my leg were covered. I thought about ending it all. Because I was tired of being picked on. I was tired of every day I went to school I was teased and when I got home I was beat up by my brother or his friends. I sat down one day with the intent on ending it all. I had the method and plenty of time before anyone would have found me. But in that moment of weakness a small but powerful thought came to mind. If I ended it all they win. Everyone who ever called me a bad name or hit me because I Was different would win. That is what saved me that day. After that the fear of going to hell stopped further attempts. Now I know Gods loves me and he will help me when things are bad. What is meant for evil he will work for goodness. No one but you can make the final choice. Even God will not work against your will. But please believe me when I say there are people who care for you. You may not see it through your pain at this moment but there really are. As stated your choice ether way will have a deep impact on peoples lives around you. The greatest thing I could ever do for you is pray for you. I have already lifted you up in prayer to My Father who is in Heaven.

Powerful post. Well said.

 

[surjimmy]

Amen.^^^^^^Talk to God, he always listen's.

 

[Wheel Gun]

We're all swayed by dark times and thoughts. That's just part of being human. Sometimes, these hard times can be long-lasting and overwhelming. But, it helps to consider that these are temporary feelings and they can be overcome. Regardless of where we are now in our walks, we all have the potential for a future of happiness and contentment. The God of the Bible is the answer here and there are lots of believers out there who would love to help sort through these challenges.

We're pulling for you and praying for you.

 

[nofearfactor]

http://www.people.com/article/brittany-maynard-died-terminal-brain-cancer

This story broke my heart when I first heard about it but I totally understand having dealt with my own father and his 10 year long battle with heart disease and his subsequent death a month shy of turning 60 while in the process of looking for a donor heart. He already had been thru several bypass operations and many other operations the previous 10 years, untold stents, etc. Transplant was his only option. I got to celebrate his beloved Super Bowl with him and all of his best friends and family less than a week before he died at a big party we threw just around the block from the Dallas heart hospital (supposedly one of the best heart hospitals in the country) where he was pretty much just hanging on at while we were looking desperately for a heart. He died 5 very long days after that party- I now know what its like not to sleep one wink for many days on end. 18 years later Im still totally devastated by his loss at such a young age- his and mine. My father was a very accomplished person and bigger than life (6'5" x 300lbs, ex boxer and football player, Marine, ex cop, successful businessman, etc), he was my entire life, my hero and my very own real life version of John Wayne/Clint Eastwood. But I understand also because he was suffering terribly and while I was selfish and would have loved to have kept him alive if even at half his best it just wasnt right seeing him merely being warehoused on pain meds like he was there at the end, when he passed it was a relief even though it was and is devastating.

Now that my own kids and stepkids are out in the world kicking azz and we dont see each other much due to our busy schedules and being all spread out geographically, and even tho I am resorted to now just being an advice position in my kids lives and sometimes feel like it wouldnt matter to them if I wasnt here, Im sure they would be as devastated if I wasnt here as I am that my father isnt here.

Sending good thoughts...

 

[BadgeBunny]

Yes. And anyone who says no is in denial or lives in a shell. PM if you want to talk about it...

This. I'm not "one of the guys" but sometimes that's not a bad thing. And for a bit of a different perspective, God did not save me ... nor did my friends or family ... in the end it was MY decision ... I've have a really good patch the last few weeks ... BUT this week has been miserable. I'm hurting as bad as I did right after our car accident and I have no idea what I did to set it off ... or how long it's gonna last.

Just is what it is. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with sometimes. You have my number. Call me. We can talk. Because what YOU think about all this DOES matter ... Patti