Comical (when you think about it) sayings we've all used.

[TedKennedy]

"down to the nut-cuttin'"
"sweatin' like a fat *fill in the blank* at a free dance"
"wouldn't trust him in the Sh!thouse with a muzzle on"

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

Cutting the fat hog in the ass
Longer than a whore's dream
Tighter than Dick's hat band
Higher than a giraffe's ass
Flopping around like a chicken with its head cut off

 

[oneof79]

This post "is better than sliced bread".

 

[Jon3830]

When I was deployed we had an op go not exactly as planned and my LT looks me dead in the face and just says "the old man is going to **** kittens when he hears about this", I have only heard a few people say it since.

 

[RidgeHunter]

Old man at work during the drought discussing rain "sure hope we get a good'n, it's drier than an old nun's c*nt at my place". He made his point.

I say the following often:

- Fawk you in the goatass.
- Well fawk me in the goatass.
- Christ's tits on a cardboard cross.
- Fawk me runnin'/with a rubber hose.
- You could fawk up an anvil with a rubber mallet.
- High enough to hunt ducks with a rake.

 

[BadgeBunny]

When I was deployed we had an op go not exactly as planned and my LT looks me dead in the face and just says "the old man is going to **** kittens when he hears about this", I have only heard a few people say it since.

I've heard that a time or two growing up ...

My dad said "Well, looky there ... that cat is shitting kittens" to my city-slicker cousin the first time she was at our place and she got to see a cat having kittens. My aunt (his sister) was royally pissed ... My cousin was my age -- all of 7 at the time ...

Not necessarily a comical saying but it was pretty danged funny at the time -- at least to Daddy and me ...

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

Old man at work during the drought discussing rain "sure hope we get a good'n, it's drier than an old nun's c*nt at my place". He made his point.

I say the following often:

- Fawk you in the goatass.
- Well fawk me in the goatass.
- Christ's tits on a cardboard cross.
- Fawk me runnin'/with a rubber hose.
- You could fawk up an anvil with a rubber mallet.
- High enough to hunt ducks with a rake.

You sure have a lot of fawking and assing going on there.

 

[subprep]

"Well **** fire! and save the matches!" sometimes when i'm frustrated its just shortened to **** fire! <--idk why anyone would want to **** fire!

"built like a brick **** house" That doesn't sound very appealing but to each his own...

"well f*k me sideways"
"no **** sherlock" an oldie but goodie

most others have been posted LOL

 

[BadgeBunny]

"Well **** fire! and save the matches!" sometimes when i'm frustrated its just shortened to **** fire! <--idk why anyone would want to **** fire!

"built like a brick **** house" That doesn't sound very appealing but to each his own...

"well f*k me sideways"
"no **** sherlock" an oldie but goodie

most others have been posted LOL

Back when I was bartending me and the other gals working there had one ... I dunno if the guys here will appreciate it but we thought it was hysterical ... You will probably like it too ...

He's so stupid he wouldn't know what to do with that dick if I showed him ...

 

[subprep]

Back when I was bartending me and the other gals working there had one ... I dunno if the guys here will appreciate it but we thought it was hysterical ... You will probably like it too ...

He's so stupid he wouldn't know what to do with that dick if I showed him ...

You must have served my EX.

Here is another good one. 'show me a man that doesn't eat *ussy and I'll show you a man that can be eaten out of house and home."

Well thats not just a saying it's a true story boys so ya better pay attention.