Comical (when you think about it) sayings we've all used.

[Hawgman]

There for a while a saying was going around I never hear any more. If a person was looking for someone and they asked "Hey, do you know where so and so is?" The reply would be "If he was up your a** kicking a football you'd know."

 

[subprep]

Well.....if we're going there....I once heard an old trucker say "show me a man that doesn't eat his wife's kitty kat and jack off his dog and I'll have them both in a week". Thanks to this, my wife stays home but I've lost 3 good dogs over the years.

HAHAHAHA!

 

[mikeyinokc]

One my wife uses from time to time "F*&k 'em and feed 'em fish heads....

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

A few of my all time favorites:

When expressing your concern over having to tangle with someone, physically or verbally. "Man, it's like trying to sandpaper a bobcats butt in a phone booth".

When you're not concerned about someone's request or stated desire. "Yeah, well, people in hell want ice water."

My dad used to say "Dang, he's shaking like a cat shi**ing razor blades."

I was enlisted and in comm in the Air Force. Officers were always looking to you to lay the blame for not being able to do the impossible just to make their little glory plan work. You would go around and around with them trying respectfully explain the part or material simply is not available. Once you were good and exasperated a common question to the officer was "Do you want me to go over in the corner and shi* one for you?" That's about the cleanest military one I can come up with. The rest may get me time in the ban room.

That reminds of this crusty old farm hand. "Boy! You'd rather jackoff a bobcat with a handful cuckle burrs than mess with me.". He was right.

 

[subprep]

One my wife uses from time to time "F*&k 'em and feed 'em fish heads....

HA HA I say that too along with "f*ck a duck and screw a guinea"

 

[Shootin 4 Fun]

HA HA I say that too along with "f*ck a duck and screw a guinea"

I'd like to party with you.

 

[Jon3830]

I got in trouble in high school for saying this in the hall way when a young hot substitute walked by.

Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)
Dakota: How would you like to bite that in the butt, develop lockjaw, and be dragged to death?

 

[LightningCrash]

When I was deployed we had an op go not exactly as planned and my LT looks me dead in the face and just says "the old man is going to **** kittens when he hears about this", I have only heard a few people say it since.

sounds like LT would sh⒤t purple doo doo if he saw the mess.

 

[mightymouse]

When describing a dolt: "All of his dogs aren't barking", "His dipstick doesn't quite touch his oil".

 

[elwoodtrix]

"ya know what i mean?"

"ya know what I'm saying?"

"ya hear me?"

Question, do they still make and use Castor Oil?? I remember being threatened as a kid to "be good"