Had a situation at my front door this evening

[Old Fart]

This would work 90% of the time. The other 10% would see that as an invite.......

Well that just means its time to start leg humping the fool.

 

[dennishoddy]

Well that just means its time to start leg humping the fool.

They might like it though, and then you would end up with a Kirby and the clap. Not a good plan....Tier one garb, with weapons on the door opening is the key to success.

 

[Defnestor]

Answer the door naked with a butcher knife in the hand. Stare at him for a second, point the knife at him, "You wouldn't be a virgin, would you?"

 

[turkeyrun]

80# bulldog always answers the door with either of us. He rarely barks, unless you knock incessantly or bang on the door. He does stare at you intensely and drool. LUNCH!!!!!!

We had a group of Jehova Witnesses making the rounds. Knocking 8-9 on Saturday morning 3 weeks in a row.
3rd week, I just happened to see them down the street and coming my way.
When the knock came, I open the door in my scivvies withcig in 1 hand and beer in the other. I say, "come on in. Hey,honey, your virgin is here."
He hit the curb running and we haven't had a Witness since.

 

[tobyboy]

Hey Danny does this sound like the same guy? This post is from nextdoor app

My sister lives in a neighborhood off 33rd and Santa Fe. Yesterday, a man knocked on their door claiming to sell magazines but had no paperwork with him. My brother in law told him they were not interested and the man proceeded to start harassing him and telling him to come out in the yard to fight him. He called the police but the man had moved on. There were several other complaints about the same man made in the same area. One was from a woman who said he followed her kids from the bus stop to her door before eventually harassing her. My sister called me about ten minutes ago saying she saw him walking down 150th towards Penn. This man is African American and dressed in a suit with something tucked in to the back of his pants. I wouldn't answer your door if he shows up in this area.

 

[Danny Tanner]

Hey Danny does this sound like the same guy? This post is from nextdoor app

My sister lives in a neighborhood off 33rd and Santa Fe. Yesterday, a man knocked on their door claiming to sell magazines but had no paperwork with him. My brother in law told him they were not interested and the man proceeded to start harassing him and telling him to come out in the yard to fight him. He called the police but the man had moved on. There were several other complaints about the same man made in the same area. One was from a woman who said he followed her kids from the bus stop to her door before eventually harassing her. My sister called me about ten minutes ago saying she saw him walking down 150th towards Penn. This man is African American and dressed in a suit with something tucked in to the back of his pants. I wouldn't answer your door if he shows up in this area.

Ha, that's my SIL's post. We weren't aware he was selling magazines until the following morning when the lady who said the guy followed her kid home mentioned he was selling magazines. He actually admitted to following her kid home thinking since she has kids it'd be a guaranteed sale. Even without the challenge to fight, his sales tactics suck.