Yep yep yep ... Some guys are just plain funny, huh?? Oh wait ... How'd that "some" get in there?!? 
Yep yep yep ... Some guys are just plain funny, huh?? Oh wait ... How'd that "some" get in there?!? 
Well this certainly took a turn toward the raunchy side
Omnivorous, I am.
Well.....if we're going there....I once heard an old trucker say "show me a man that doesn't eat his wife's kitty kat and jack off his dog and I'll have them both in a week". Thanks to this, my wife stays home but I've lost 3 good dogs over the years.
A rather common thing heard while I was in the Army back in the early 70's and occassionally when I was in the Navy in the late 70's and early 80's said by guys when commenting on a good looking female walking by:
"I'd eat a mile of 'er sh1t just to see where it came from".
Soldiers and Sailors can be pretty gross at times.
"I'd eat a mile of 'er sh1t just to see where it came from".
Soldiers and Sailors can be pretty gross at times.
I heard it this way - "I'd eat the corn out of......"
Heard a new one the other day from my remodel guy. We were talking about some drywall work and I said "How are you going to fix that up?"
"Son, don't you worry about that, I can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, this won't be no trouble at all."
"Son, don't you worry about that, I can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, this won't be no trouble at all."
A few of my all time favorites:
When expressing your concern over having to tangle with someone, physically or verbally. "Man, it's like trying to sandpaper a bobcats butt in a phone booth".
When you're not concerned about someone's request or stated desire. "Yeah, well, people in hell want ice water."
My dad used to say "Dang, he's shaking like a cat shi**ing razor blades."
I was enlisted and in comm in the Air Force. Officers were always looking to you to lay the blame for not being able to do the impossible just to make their little glory plan work. You would go around and around with them trying respectfully explain the part or material simply is not available. Once you were good and exasperated a common question to the officer was "Do you want me to go over in the corner and shi* one for you?" That's about the cleanest military one I can come up with. The rest may get me time in the ban room.
When expressing your concern over having to tangle with someone, physically or verbally. "Man, it's like trying to sandpaper a bobcats butt in a phone booth".
When you're not concerned about someone's request or stated desire. "Yeah, well, people in hell want ice water."
My dad used to say "Dang, he's shaking like a cat shi**ing razor blades."
I was enlisted and in comm in the Air Force. Officers were always looking to you to lay the blame for not being able to do the impossible just to make their little glory plan work. You would go around and around with them trying respectfully explain the part or material simply is not available. Once you were good and exasperated a common question to the officer was "Do you want me to go over in the corner and shi* one for you?" That's about the cleanest military one I can come up with. The rest may get me time in the ban room.
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