I'm a bit lost guys, my dad is getting old.

[HoLeChit]

Long story short, my dad is getting old. He's now in his mid 70's, and still easily the meanest, angriest, most resentful old bastard you will ever meet. He's fiercely self reliant. Me and him don't always get along, and he doesn't really listen to much that I say.

My sister called me yesterday, saying that she is trying to move out of state soon, and wanted my opinion. She lives with my dad, and said that recently his health has really gone downhill even more than it has the past 2 years. He doesn't leave the house, and I don't trust him to drive any more. This is all sudden to me, cause it wasn't until about 3 years ago that he was no longer able to beat my tail into the dirt. She mentioned trying to get him into assisted living or something of that nature. I know for a fact that he would rather die at home than anywhere else, and won't have any of that. He refuses to see doctors, as they are all "liberals that want your money and do their best to kill you off", and would rather die than have someone take care of him.

I'm not too sure what to do. He recently started having to wear depends, and can't take care of himself too well. I could really use some words of advice.

 

[HoLeChit]

Also, with my schedule I can't tend to him very much or as well as he would need, nor do I have the money to pay for someone to do so.

 

[ConstitutionCowboy]

Revel in the knowledge that your dad brought you up to be who you are and you'd better hope and pray that you live long enough to become as cantankerous and free-willed as he is. Find the time to spend with him. You've still got a lot to learn from him in the final stages of his life. It's stuff you'll pass on to your kids when you get old and cantankerous. After he is gone, it's too late.

Woody

 

[DanB]

We have dealt with several clients just like your father. Unfortunately, If they are still sharp minded and hard headed. They may not listen to the sound advise. My grandmother was the same way. Fortunately/unfortunately she declined so fast with dementia that she went straight to a nursing home.

Our company HomeCare Specialists provides the level of care your father may need. Feel free to look us up www.hcshc.com. If you call the main number 405-253-5796 and talk to our RN she will gladly listen to the situation to determine if she we can help you out.

 

[KOPBET]

Geez, I hope you can work something out. The cost of nursing home care is insane.

 

[Kid Glock]

Not much advice to offer regarding your post but from a cantankerous old bastard that lost my dad in 1981, try to spend some quality time with him before its too late.
heck he might just out live us all.

 

[HoLeChit]

I absolutely appreciate all the info guys. I have been trying to find time and such. Most of our conversations revolve around his "herbs and secret long life vitamins" and about politics. The rest of the time it's usually talking bad about me to my face or my mother, as she left him a year ago. Not much learning left I feel, cause he doesn't share much anymore. We spend probably 6 months learning old stories and such about his past.

I just don't know when to draw the line between he can be alone and not, and then I have no clue how to get him on the same page.

 

[DRC458]

I don't have much to offer in the way of specific advice, but I would look into some assisted living facilities. We never thought my Dad would accept moving into one, but he fortunately settled right in. There were some like-minded folks there that he hit it off with. They played pitch all the time, which he hadn't done in years, but he jumped all over the chance to get back into it. I couldn't believe how quickly and how well he fit in. Does your Dad enjoy doing ANYTHING? If so, try to find some place that offers some activities he might enjoy. There might just be some more cantankerous old farts that he would get along with!

 

[HoLeChit]

I don't have much to offer in the way of specific advice, but I would look into some assisted living facilities. We never thought my Dad would accept moving into one, but he fortunately settled right in. There were some like-minded folks there that he hit it off with. They played pitch all the time, which he hadn't done in years, but he jumped all over the chance to get back into it. I couldn't believe how quickly and how well he fit in. Does your Dad enjoy doing ANYTHING? If so, try to find some place that offers some activities he might enjoy. There might just be some more cantankerous old farts that he would get along with!

He used to fish, be a carpenter, drink, and shoot pool, and that's about it. His biggest hobby was work. He did everything. Was a tree planter, a Marine, truck driver, bulldozer operator, built a lot of the interstate system in Georgia, lumberjack, and a hard rock coal miner. In spite of all that, all he does now is read, cause everything will make you sick and the gov wants to kill you with wifi waves in the OGE smart meters and Chem trails. I'm gonna try and look into this a bit, but I dunno how well it would work out. And cost wise is something I'm worried about too. He doesn't have retirement, just social security and a small workers compensation check every month. Next to no money or valuables to speak of. I clear 37k a year on average working as a heavy equipment mechanic. Can't really support him.

 

[CHenry]

Be nice if sis didnt move out just yet.