If My Dog Could Talk

[montesa]

Ha! I don't think so.... potty training was the first part. She's generally pretty good about that, but we put her out 20 times a day or more.

It's the not jumping on people, not gnawing on people, sit on command, heel and not drag when walking and staying put when told that we need.

The trainer came the other day... we were working with Jayde in the front yard, doing on-leash stuff. Getting up on the platform and staying, following on leash without pulling, sit on command, etc. He brought his own dog with him and he had been in the van... so he thought he would get him out and play with him a bit while we were working Jayde, to see how she did with distractions.

He let his 1 year old lab out of the van and pointed to the fire hydrant across the street and told him, "Place!". Dog ran over, jumped on TOP of the fire hydrant and stayed there the next 15 minutes watching until he was told he could come over. It was incredible. I need that. We're working on it. I want a dog that follows directions 100% of the time. Every time. Without fail.

This is a great attitude to start out with. When the training starts really showing, she starts calming down, you’ll wonder how you lived without her.

 

[RickN]

Guys if your dog could talk, it would be blaming you when it farted.

 

[HFS]

Guys if your dog could talk, it would be blaming you when it farted.

Turnabout is fair play, I guess.

 

[HFS]

A song from Hoyt Axton (talks about a cat, but it fits).

"If that cat could talk, what tales he'd tell
About Della and the dealer and the dog as well
But the cat was cool, and he never said a mumbling word."

 

[tRidiot]

This is a great attitude to start out with. When the training starts really showing, she starts calming down, you’ll wonder how you lived without her.

I just found out what we're spending on food for this damned mutt.... I'm about ready to toss her again. ARGH!

We could just feed her straight MEAT and it would be cheaper!

 

[beardking]

Guys if your dog could talk, it would be blaming you when it farted.

I have a boxer and a boxer mix, we ALWAYS know when they fart. Boxer farts should probably be regulated by the government they are so lethal.

 

[MacFromOK]

HOW TO BATHE THE CAT

1. Thoroughly clean toilet.
2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top, so cat cannot escape.
5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds (ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this).
6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.

Sincerely,
The Dog

 

[Oklahomabassin]

I just found out what we're spending on food for this damned mutt.... I'm about ready to toss her again. ARGH!

We could just feed her straight MEAT and it would be cheaper!

A lot of people do that. (Feed meat)

 

[Snattlerake]

HOW TO BATHE THE CAT

1. Thoroughly clean toilet.
2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top, so cat cannot escape.
5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds (ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this).
6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.

Sincerely,
The Dog

As an added bonus, you can clean the toilet at the same time with this method.

 

[FreeSpiritBalloon]

A lot of people do that. (Feed meat)

Cheap cuts of meat and generic biscuits was common when we raised St. Bernard’s. They can eat.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk