Man Eats Cocaine From Brother's Butt, Dies

[been]

this will be on 1,000 Ways To Die.

 

[flatwins]

Since you didn't use the OSA-spec sarcasm font (Comic Sans), I have to ass-ume you are being serious.

It seems pretty obvious that the brother who went to Kansas on his own sibling in the backside of a po-leece car swallowed a baggy of coke. Once it hit his stomach, the baggy either melted in the stomach acid or simply tore open in the "tossing of the salad" manuever, thereby dumping an ounce of coke directly into Cap'n Kansas' stomach. That amount of coke all at once will pretty much kill you instantly. The fact that it was in his brother mangina is just a brown herring. If he died from E coli, then it could be attri-butt-ed to the fact that it was stored in the fudge factory.

Just keepin' it scientific....

Now that's funny, I don't care who ya are.

 

[Biggsly]

I've been trying to rewrite various cocaine songs to be about buttcoke since this story broke, but sadly I have failed.

Sorry guise.

When you want to get down
eat from the brown round
buttcoke

When your stuck in a rut
eat the bag in his butt
buttcoke

When the day has been a stinker
snort the bag from his sphincter
buttcoke

his butt lied, his butt lied, his butt lied
buttcoke.
Maybe that will get you started..................like the white stuff he farted......

 

[been]

When you want to get down
eat from the brown round
buttcoke

When your stuck in a rut
eat the bag in his butt
buttcoke

When the day has been a stinker
snort the bag from his sphincter
buttcoke

his butt lied, his butt lied, his butt lied
buttcoke.
Maybe that will get you started..................like the white stuff he farted......

i bet you spent all day thinking of that didnt you!!??

 

[Biggsly]

i bet you spent all day thinking of that didnt you!!??

about the last two minutes. lol I just read it, and it popped in my head. I am a natural. lol

 

[RidgeHunter]

Biggsly, it's just that I couldn't top my magnum opus cocaine song parody from the thread where people snorted human ashes.

If you're out in the rain
And you're feelin' no pain
Cremains...

If grandpa is dead
But he's still in your head
Cremains...

If momma is gone
But you wanna ride on
Cremains...

If poopgiggle's banned
And you're makin' a stand
Cremains....

 

[Biggsly]

Biggsly, it's just that I couldn't top my magnum opus cocaine song parody from the thread where people snorted human ashes.

I like it.

 

[RidgeHunter]

Cocaine Blues a la Johnny Cash has way too many verses to be about a guy that ate cocaine and died in a hour. I got one verse.

An idlin' cop car and I'm in the back
I took a shot of cocaine from my brother's crack
Thought of how I should have stayed in class
But now I'm eatin' 8 balls from my brother's ass

 

[ramasis]

Natural selection at work.

 

[been]

Natural selection at work.

indeed. And welcome!!