When they stop being an asset and start being a liability. You can love them whether they're alive or dead, but not if you're dead yourself. The trick is to make sure they are an asset BEFORE the SHTF! 
In a pure fantasy scenario, if they are bitten or turn then its a double tap to the brain. Otherwise where my husband and kids are is where I am. That being said if shtf and I was mortally wounded or something and my family being 'stuck' with me meant their doom, I would insist that they leave me behind in order to survive.
When they stop being an asset and start being a liability. You can love them whether they're alive or dead, but not if you're dead yourself. The trick is to make sure they are an asset BEFORE the SHTF!
2 yo grandson (he is accurate with a paintball gun) and the other 11 grandkids ARE assets, no matter how you want to classify / quantify. Bitten / turned, they are already gone anyway, so they can't be left behind; otherwise, NOBODY gets left.
Wife is non-negotiable, as is my youngest son. All others need to be prepared. My folks are old, and I know my old man would die with his boots on, and not want to slow anyone down. The tribe must carry on!
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