Got a promotion and lost friends at the same time...

[cooljeff]

As some of you may know, I'm an elementary special education teacher in Moore Public Schools. This last year has been amazing and I give God all the glory. I was awarded Teacher Of the Year, also nominated for South OKC Chamber of Commerce Teacher Of the Year award. Since the school year ended I've had 4 different principals call me to offer me jobs. My new principal called me a couple weeks ago and offered me the Special Education Department Head position. I jumped at the chance to enrich others and help my students and other teachers. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to see the difficult part of this job now. I'm having to start already making very hard choices about who stays in the department (Paraprofessional, Teacher Assistant, etc) and also who is assigned which grade levels and which students in their caseloads. This has already started to have blowback as you can imagine. Friends I've had for 5-6 years are wanting favoritism, or to be assigned to something they want and not necessarily what's best for the school and the students. Some are not being so nice about it. It's difficult to tell someone that you are thier friend, but the decisions made are going by lots of thought and input from other professionals in the field to decide the best pairing of TA or Para and students and assigning difficult students to someone is never easy. I guess I hoped that people would just understand and do what's best and not what's easiest. I've always had tough students and high number caseloads, but I always knew that was part of the job. I guess I needed to vent....

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[D. Hargrove]

Good on ya, vent. Folks will always try to get what they think they want based on being friends. Not a hard choice for me, I tell them like I think, the right person in the right job at the right time. They will come around eventually as it is what is best for the kids. Congratulations on the achievements!!

 

[BrandonM]

Keep doing the right thing, not the easy thing. It'll be worth it in the end. If they don't understand you not playing favorites then they were terrible friends to start with.

 

[cooljeff]

Good on ya, vent. Folks will always try to get what they think they want based on being friends. Not a hard choice for me, I tell them like I think, the right person in the right job at the right time. They will come around eventually as it is what is best for the kids. Congratulations on the achievements!!

Thank you David. I agree, my wife says I'm going to have to go from being my natural care about everyone's feelings to being thick skinned and getting things done. She's right I know and this is the next step God has for me and he will prepare me all the way.

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[cooljeff]

Keep doing the right thing, not the easy thing. It'll be worth it in the end. If they don't understand you not playing favorites then they were terrible friends to start with.

That's exactly what others have told me. I agree with you too. I guess now I will find out soon enough. Lol.

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[emapples]

Thank you David. I agree, my wife says I'm going to have to go from being my natural care about everyone's feelings to being thick skinned and getting things done. She's right I know and this is the next step God has for me and he will prepare me all the way.

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Some of the people all of the time or all of the people some of the time.... thats all you will ever be able to please..

 

[cooljeff]

Some of the people all of the time or all of the people some of the time.... thats all you will ever be able to please..

That's the most truth I've read in a post on a while. I know that's how it's going to be for sure.

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[sanjuro893]

Congratulations on your promotion! The fact that these decisions are this difficult for you and that you would put the needs of the students above your friendships tells me you're the right person for the job. Just trust your gut, and in God, man. It'll be the best for you, the kids and even your friends in the long run. Maybe your friends will see that eventually.

 

[steelfingers]

Keep on venting bud. I tell every new supervisor that things change when you move up. My advice to them is "you can be friendly with the people under you, but try not to be friends". If you're able to keep friends that you supervise, you're unique.
You don't have to have thick or thin skin either. It's business. No emotion should be involved or tolerated.
I sleep very well every night and I've been a boss for over 30 years.
Don't over think it.

 

[Powerman620]

A true friend would not put that pressure on you. Hard decisions have to be made what's best for children and classroom, some not what you want but need to do. I am on school board and have made decisions that I hated to do but no choice due to financial conditions, hate that part. Do what you know and things will work out.