Hey you guys derailing the dog thread -- get in here ...

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THAT Gurl

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this generational **** doesn't make sense to me. there were bums and **** back 100 years ago too.
it's not like back in your day everyone had 3 jobs and saved well. you only hear the successes, the failures are ignored.

there are plenty of folks in 2023 who do work 3 jobs and bust their ass. some things are better than they were, some things worse. it's definitely true it's harder for the average man to get by now than it was in the past.

i wouldn't argue that busting your ass like that is some kind of virtue in and of itself. i think it's commendable if you make that sacrifice to support your family, but it's not a virtue it's a burden.

it's easy to criticize other people without having to walk a mile in their shoes. most of our decisions aren't logical like that, most folks had **** parents and never learned emotional control and discipline. some people have mental health issues. sometimes i wonder how much control we really have, or if we just have the illusion of control, and our own personality, genetics and upbringing decide a lot of the outcome.

Boy isn't all that just the God's honest truth. My oldest son's father -- who was a friend with benefits, and nothing more -- was also a raging alcoholic. Big part of the reason he didn't clear any serious hurdles with me. My first husband -- same -- raging alcoholic who hung around just long enough to get me pregnant twice. That's not really fair -- he would have stayed as long as I let him. We did love each other, dysfunctional and toxic as we were but they originally thought my 3rd pregnancy was a cancerous tumor, not a baby, and he bolted because he didn't want to get stuck with 2 little boys if I happened to croak on him. Again in all fairness he wanted to come back when we figured out that my tumor was "just" a tumor AND a baby but the damage was done. I have HORRIBLE trust issues and it takes a TON of work to fix it once I'm burned. Ask Grumpy -- bless HIS heart. Lol But David, may he rest in peace, didn't have the fortitude to see it through. And he really didn't have to -- his mom was more than happy to drive that stake right through his heart and mine, and take him back.

Years later, I met a woman he worked with. She said that he never dated and had told all his co-workers that his wife and small children had been murdered. 😲 I was both shocked ... And sad. But we were both young and dumb at the time. And he left the state while I was in the hospital having surgery in my 2nd trimester to deal with the tumor that was there, so I thought he had just moved onto the next gal. 🤷 Only way to make sure the baby was safe because the tumor was growing faster than the baby was. Estrogen is a hellava drug. 🙄🙄🙄

Anyway ... Man I have spilled my guts in this thread. I do understand people wanting a life outside work. But our choices (me deciding to keep all my pregnancies instead of running down to NW 23rd and Classen to the abortion clinic, for example) have consequences.

I could have just stayed in the projects and continued to get pregnant. Since I was on the Pill every time I got pregnant I'm guessing I wouldn't have had to work too hard at it. 🤷🙄🙄🙄 At some point, especially if I didn't care about my kids learning any different, I could have stayed flush with WIC and food stamps and AFDC for at least until the last one turned 18 ... 🤷🤷 But what kind of message does that send to my children??

I dunno if I did the right thing but I do know I did the only thing that allowed me to sleep at night -- and that was to work and work hard to take care of the responsibilities that my actions caused me to have. 🤷 And I hope, in the end, it was enough because my integrity, fragile though it is, is all I really have.
 

turkeyrun

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Papa was a carpenter by trade. Wasn't any sick days, paid vacation, or retirement. No work, no pay. #1 rule, no credit.

I was on the job with him, from the time I started school. Was paid in cash, every Friday and at least part, put in the bank.
I didn't have a job, during school, to concentrate on school, I had $$$.
I bought my first car, cash, and every one since then. Dad never bought my gas.

Worked with a guy, typical "keep up the Jones" type. Had to have bigger, better, newer than others.

At work one day, was talking with a friend about buying a 4-wheeler for use on deer lease. "Keep up" is listening in and says, "must be nice to be rich. Wish I could get a NEW 4-wheeler."
Told him, "you will have ANOTHER payment, oon as I buy one and you know what size, to get a bigger one. Goes great with your house payment, truck payment, Bass boat payment, ...... my stuff is paid for."
House had 30 yr mortgage, paid for in 20. He had a new house built, every 5 years. Normally with balloon payments, to keep payment low first 5 years. Could do nothing for himself, always paid to have repairs.

To each their own. Choices / consequences, deal with it. Blame yourself, not others.

Mom calls, one day. She is at the ""Hen's Cackle Salon" (beauty shop) that is a couple blocks from our house, calls to have my 13 yo son come to shop and mow. The owner's son (17) is wanting gas money to drive his friends to beach. She told him to mow, had been telling him to mow for a week.
My son shows up 5 minutes later, mows, weed eats, blows down walk and parking. Goes in to get paid and gets 5 more mowing jobs from customers.
Buy end of summer, he had bought a riding mower and had 3 buddies working for him. Every job came from customers. Many of those customers had teens that refused to work.

From the dawn of time; work /eat. Don't work / don't eat. Don't whine to me, I got no sympathy for you.

A friend of Wifs called, all upset because her husband, who worked all the time, was told NO OVERTIME, possible strike coming. She didn't know how they would make it. Her credit cards were maxed out and her minimum monthly payment was OVER $800 a month. She always made the minimum payment only. And every 6 months, the card company would raise her limit and she would go max it out.
Wif was not sympathetic to her plight.

Look at the kids and adults out there that have no idea how to prepare a meal, just go get McD's, every day.
If McD went away, I wouldn't notice, wouldn't care.

I believe the problem started not with BOOMERS, but with HIPPIES, the counter culture. No disciple, no accountability, no responsibility. I always found it hilarious, the bands and songs going on about "the man", "the establishment", but NEVER turned down the MONEY.

I worked around a pothead 25 yo, continually ranting about the ills of capitalism and need of socialism. Whining about government taking too much of HIS money, but get PO'd when told those taxes were HIS doing to pay for his great socialism.
He posted some of his music on Farce Book and Tik Tok. Was so excited when somebody wanted to buy one of his songs. I said, "how very Capitalist of you, why didn't you give it to him? He needed it."
His response, "I have a family to take care of. Oh ****, shut up, it's not the same thing."

You can't fix stupid, but you can let it starve.

One more, Wifs 94yo Grandmother could no longer keep up with her house and 3 acres. Sold it and bought a townhouse. Made the minimum down payment on a 40 year mortgage. Her son was upset about it, the house sell was way more than cost of the townhouse.
She laughed at him, "the idiots included mortgage insurance. I die, you get a paid off house. I don't think I will pay it off."
 
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JEVapa

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TedKennedy

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I'll add one thing as an example -

Check out the funky little convenience store run by the guy that speaks broken English. Odds are he's busting ass, putting money away, living in very cheap housing and still putting his kids through college.

Go talk to a Haitian or Jamaican immigrant - you may be surprised at how they view our current events.

We have absolutely nothing to ***** about.
 

Adhdferret

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Ok I have SO. MANY. QUESTIONS about why this fella is being a whiny ***** but the most important one is who the **** spends $540,000 on "an apartment"??

For example, I didn't buy my house until I was in my 40s, pissed my realtor off because I wouldn't look at anything over a certain price, which was WELL under what I could qualify for, and took out a 30 year note to make SURE I could afford the payments if something happened and I lost one of my 3 jobs.

.

Again, why is he not making $10k/month doing whatever all these tictokkers are doing? 🤷

Just know that y'alls' carrying on about how different things are now than they were then doesn't solve anything. I know kids who are sharing apartments with 3 and 4 other kids their age in order to afford the rent. My question is if you are doing that to make ends meet why the **** are you in the newest, most expensive apartment complex in town instead of in a more moderately priced apartment where you can actually put a little of the money you make back for emergencies?? Why are you hitting town every Friday night instead of watching Netflix at home?? Or better yet studying something that interests you AND makes you more upwardly mobile in the job market?? Why do you have to DoorDash in every night instead of eating sammiches and chips?? And splurging on a Bud Light??

I mean seriously ... All this angst is not getting anyone anywhere ... I'm still retired, and you're still going to work at one job that doesn't pay well but also doesn't make you leave your pacifier (your cell phone) in your locker. 🤷 Seems to me like you are exactly where you WANT to be or you'd be doing your damnest to get out. 🤷🤷🤷
Hey there, I can shed light on this from a different perspective and this is my experience ok?

I didn't get my act together till 2019 when rona went mainstream, at that time I was in a 2bd 2bth apt on 63rd and macuarther.

Gun shots every night, police stand offs too in the Apts next to us, random home invasions and essentially open air drug trade.

Well me and another Tennant didn't like that, so we walked around the Apts with guns, we talked to people, we engaged others, and I saw how effective that was.

No one opposed what we were doing but management. I began to see I had to leave.

2021 we finally got out of there because upon looking not a single complex, or home rental would talk to you unless you had a 650 credit score, made 3x the rent per month, and paid first last and secured deposit that was equal to the rent. Plus 50 dollar non refunded background fee.

I even offered a years rent up front, none accepted.

Nepotism is how we got the place we are in now, and it needs work, but whatever I dont know how to do that, and maybe I should? So we pay rent to an extended family memeber, we maintain their property, we are fixing the house and they are going to sell it what was paid in 2010 when they bought it....price for admission and know what?

I am ok with that because I have to earn it. Plus now my dogs can run around in a backyard. I can host gatherings as well where I live, we have a garden, some banana trees and are part of a community now.

I am not doing tiktok because I made an LLC to do what I enjoy, you were a cop right? Why did you do it?

I do what I am because I save people's lives almost every week I am working. As a species we are so quick to wish death on someone and even if you don't mean it...you do.

I invisioned to be that change I want to see in myself and my son, so...I make sure the world is a better place in the only way I know how.
 

THAT Gurl

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Hey there, I can shed light on this from a different perspective and this is my experience ok?

I didn't get my act together till 2019 when rona went mainstream, at that time I was in a 2bd 2bth apt on 63rd and macuarther.

Gun shots every night, police stand offs too in the Apts next to us, random home invasions and essentially open air drug trade.

Well me and another Tennant didn't like that, so we walked around the Apts with guns, we talked to people, we engaged others, and I saw how effective that was.

No one opposed what we were doing but management. I began to see I had to leave.

2021 we finally got out of there because upon looking not a single complex, or home rental would talk to you unless you had a 650 credit score, made 3x the rent per month, and paid first last and secured deposit that was equal to the rent. Plus 50 dollar non refunded background fee.

I even offered a years rent up front, none accepted.

Nepotism is how we got the place we are in now, and it needs work, but whatever I dont know how to do that, and maybe I should? So we pay rent to an extended family memeber, we maintain their property, we are fixing the house and they are going to sell it what was paid in 2010 when they bought it....price for admission and know what?

I am ok with that because I have to earn it. Plus now my dogs can run around in a backyard. I can host gatherings as well where I live, we have a garden, some banana trees and are part of a community now.

I am not doing tiktok because I made an LLC to do what I enjoy, you were a cop right? Why did you do it?

I do what I am because I save people's lives almost every week I am working. As a species we are so quick to wish death on someone and even if you don't mean it...you do.

I invisioned to be that change I want to see in myself and my son, so...I make sure the world is a better place in the only way I know how.

What a small world!! I lived in that neighborhood before I bought my house. I know EXACTLY what you were dealing with. It was rough even back in 1999.

Nope, I wasn't a cop. That was Grumpy. But I see where you are going and yes, he did it because he thought he could make a change. He did make changes -- in individual lives (one of the worst arguments we ever had was over the fact I watched him treat a felon, with a list of warrants longer than I am tall, better than he treats me. 😲👀👀👀 Bastard ... 😉😂). Me?? I'm a dyed in the wool capitalist. I worked for ... Gasp ... Lawyers nearly my entire working career.

I think you and I are pretty much the same. EXCEPT ... I do not believe there is a way to get where you wish (and me, too, for that matter) to go. It is impossible because not everyone is like you ... And me. There will always be some who have figured out how to work the system; a great many more who want to work the system but never really figured it out; some who don't want to be bothered by ANY system, even one that benefits them; and then those of us who don't want to exchange our freedom of choice to become a part of the system. Oh ... And finally, those who wind up paying for the system. Some of those distinctions overlap a bit but you get my drift, I think.

Like I said before, the human condition will not ever allow for what you want to do. It doesn't even work with rats. I'd go look up the links and post them for you -- it was a classic psychological experiment and the scientist's name escapes me right now -- but my head is pounding so I'll come back later and post it.

You guys all have a good afternoon. I'm gonna retreat to my cave and contemplate digging my eyes out with a spoon. Maybe that will help ... Gah ...
 

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