What's that one story(not mine, I heard it)...some Mormons come to the door, listen to the spill for a minute, then ask, "Don't you believe only 144,000 people will get into heaven". They will answer yes, as is their belief. Then ask how many members the Mormon church has. When they answer(which will be much more than 144,000), say I guess you're all booked up.
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Never heard of Mormons believing that, but I know Jehovah's Witnesses do,(mom was raised witness). It's based on Revelation 14
And I looked, and, lo, a Lamb stood on the mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty and four thousand, having his Father's name written in their foreheads.
The kicker is Revelation 7 (4-8)
And I heard the number of those who were sealed. One hundred and forty-four thousand of all the tribes of the children of Israel were sealed: of the tribe of Judah twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Reuben twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Gad twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Asher twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Naphtali twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Manasseh twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Simeon twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Levi twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Issachar twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Zebulun twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Joseph twelve thousand were sealed; of the tribe of Benjamin twelve thousand were sealed.
Ask them if they're going to heaven and if so what tribe they're from, they leave.
No offense was meant to any Witnesses in the audience.
Wine would be more appropriate.
Just open the door wearing only jeans and with a 1911, open bottle of Jack, and 2 half dressed ladies clearly visible behind you. They leave on their own.
I tell them I am Jesus and to get the f*** off my porch.
Works with Girl Scouts, too.
Works with Girl Scouts, too.
Sounds like a plan to me and I've got everything but the half-dressed ladies.
It worked for me, of course that was many, many years ago. Now days I do not drink and the wifey would kill me if I had two half dressed ladies around, even if I could still attract them.
Just say you're a Christian and worship Jesus Christ. That'll make them leave too.
N
Neist
Guest
I've actually done this. Where I used to have an apartment years ago they were around in packs. They kept harassing me, and telling them that pretty much worked the trick. Never bothered me again.
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